The usual things that keep people up at night (cars, animals, other people, any of the aforementioned when involved in sexual activity, music, thunderstorms) don't really bother me, what does keep me woke though, are my own thoughts.
Do you ever get flashbacks?
Not like fond memories popping into your head, but involuntary memories erupting from the back of your conscious where you tried so hard to stow them away.
Every so often I'll spend a night squirming in my sheets as I remember all the embarrassing shit I've done throughout the course of my life.
The Hug
In primary (first) school, I was in love. I bet you're cringing already. I'd spent a day a week for the whole year in the after-school club with her. Back then, kids didn't have phones and I was too awkward to talk to her in front of her friends. Cringe. So, I relied on her coming to this after-school club as my only chance to talk to her. We'd gotten pretty close (nothing to do with the fact that I had no competition). But I never had the balls to ask her out. So anyway, it got to the last day of primary before a long summer and then we'd move to secondary (high) school, where I wouldn't stand a chance, and I'd still not made any progress, I felt nothing but disappointment in myself.
But then, I heard her from behind me.
"Give me a hug goodbye!"
Oh golly gosh, it was finally happening!
I turned around and spread my arms wide! She pranced toward me with a sparkle in her eye. This would be the moment we tell our grandkids about. I closed my eyes and prepared for her loving embrace.
"Not you."
She said as she walked straight past me.
I turn around to see her hugging a tiny three-year-old.
I locked eyes with this underage undercutter and at that moment, I knew his game.
I didn't know how to feel. He must've been what? 2 foot tall?! He didn't even know his alphabet yet for crying out loud! What did he have that I didn't?
After that flashback, I get led into a highschool flashback where, in at least three lessons, she's sat next to me and I'm too embarrassed to even look in her direction for the entire bloody year.
So there you have it
That's why I don't sleep at night sometimes.
I have flashbacks of other things too, but they aren't really funny as much as they are painfully embarrassing. I wouldn't wanna put you guys through that. At least, not all in one post.