There are many different parenting styles out there. Really there are 4 distinct parenting styles out there if you want to get down to the psychology of it all. But let's keep it simple. I am in no way a perfect parent, and no big surprise that anyone else isn't either. I have read about a million articles, studies, journals, and blogs on the topic of motherhood since the birth of my first child 11 and a half years ago. My overall conclusion is that articles can be biased (FAKE NEWS!! Hahaha seriously though), studies and journals can be flawed, and blogs... well they are basically subject to the same issues as articles. So my best advice to you is as follows:
Cut Yourself Some Slack
You are not perfect so stop trying to be. Seriously, I spent so much time trying to be a perfect mom and also perfect as myself that I was really missing out on the real business of being me. You can only do the best you can. If you go beyond your energy level, beyond your reality you are going to be disappointed, stressed out and CRANKY! I can already hear the audible whines now "But if I don't get_____ done then I will have let my kids down." That is not true. It is not true at all. Your kids do not care that his birthday cake was not a pinterest masterpiece. Your kids do not give a flip about that 1st birthday photoshoot. That is all for facebook my friend. Let it go.
Be Thankful
I know this is really a cliche piece right here, but honestly it really has the power to change your perspective on things and alter your mood. I have suffered from anxiety and depression for some pretty sizeable chunks of my life and gratitude really was somewhat helpful at least for the depression part. However, being thankful in motherhood can also be helpful when your child is acting like a nightmare. Really just wait until they are asleep and watch. Just watch. It is a miracle she can even be with you today. No matter how awful the day was, be thankful that today is over and #hope you get tomorrow to build on what you've learned today. Be thankful for what you have learned today.
Have Fun
Play. It cannot be all work and no play. Messes can be cleaned up, but time cannot be replaced. Some of the best fun is making a mess. This one is super hard for me. While I am not the neatest person in the world deliberately making a mess for the sake of fun is something that is nails on a chalkboard uncomfortable for me. I am not really sure why but it just feels unnatural. Do fun things with your kids. Play a game, cook dinner, make a video with funny voices, make art, read stories, or just talk about whatever they want. Whatever you do have fun within the realm of what works for you and helps you to recharge also.
Take Time For You
If it is a half hour before bed, an hour in the morning before the kids get up, a trip to the nail salon every couple of week, or whatever! Take that time for you! You are doing steps 1 and 2 which makes you so much more ready for step 3. If you are not recharged in some way your family is going to suffer from it too because they'll be missing out on you. The real you. Not the real you trying to be the perfect you, but the actual you taking steps to be your best self which is not the same as you trying to be some imaginary perfect self.
What are somethings you notice that help you to be better at being a mom?