I'm a natural liar. I'm just good at it. I don't try to be good at it but I am. I have been my whole life, but when I was little they would just call it "story telling". I get it from my father, he's the best liar I've ever met. And I'm not saying this in a mean or negative way. Neither of us use lying to our advantage.
Except, to make people feel more comfortable. I can walk into a crowded room of strangers and talk to any of them. No problem. It's fun for me even, I can switch my thoughts and persona without any issue.
That's not the point of this article. I'm just trying to give you back information as to why you should even care about what I have to say. Now when it comes to lying all humans have different tells that they do. Just like in poker, you can't control it fully, but you can try and be better with your tells if need be.
So, let's start off with the biggest one that you won't be able to do much about without a LOT of practice.
1) Micro Expressions.
Now everyone's face has millions of micro expressions. You really can't control them. If you're put into a room with someone questioning you it's easy to fake some, but if it's an expert I'd honestly recommend just putting your head down and refusing to talk.
Here's a list of micro expressions that you can try and use to confuse someone skilled at reading them, but even then your body will try and do the ones it wants to naturally.
In theory only sociopaths could ever fully control these micro expressions. But hey, you can give it a try.
2) There is a disconnect between a statement and an expression.
Going along with the first tip, there's the fact that when people lie they normally have to think about it. And that momentary pause to think of your lie causes your body to not react at the same time.
When you're at a dinner party and your friend says, "So what do you think of what I cooked." You don't want to hurt their feelings so you'll say it's good. But you will pause if only for a split second to actively make the choice to lie. And it's that pause that will separate your statement from your fake smile.
This is even more obvious when you think about this scenario and do like the food. You won't even pause and tell her how delicious it is while smiling and nodding. It's the little things that give you away to someone who's trained to spot them.
3) Liars over use their mouth for expressions.
A lot of people don't realize that your eyes are really the most expressive part of your body. As a writer I use this in my story telling so it's really easy for me to see it. But when a bad liar is trying to get someone to believe them they will often over express their mouth and forget their eyes completely.
Anyone who is trained will notice this right away. So remember express your eyes first. If you are talking to someone then make sure your eyes are showing if your happy or sad. Your eyebrows can show surprise, anger, shock better than anything. So practice that.
4) Liars make grooming gestures.
This one is simple. Just don't do that. When I liar is caught they will often make a grooming gesture. Straightening their hair, or tie. Fix their glasses or adjust their shirt. DO NOT DO THIS. Most of the community believes people do this because they are subconsciously trying to show a perfect front. And if they look good outward, no one will question them. But if you're telling the truth these types of things don't matter. So just don't do it.
5) A liar always wants to change the subject
This is another obvious one. If you're lying you don't want that topic to continue to be talked about so you will normally jump at the chance to change topics. Don't do that. If you're telling the truth you want to keep talking about it. "I can't believe you're accusing me of this". A person who is honestly innocent won't just let that go. They want to talk about it.
So if you're lying and someone tries to change the topic stay on it until something is resolved. Or even bring it back up. "I really want to talk about this. Why do you think I'd do this. I don't understand." Subconsciously the person questioning you will see this as a wow moment. You really are upset by this, you want to discuss it. You must be innocent.
6) Liars over exaggerate to make themselves look good.
Bad liars will just say lie after lie in order to make themselves look better. "I have never taken a sick day or vacation day. I work over time every week! How can you say I don't work." Never try and shine to much of a good light on yourself.
You should use the kernel method. Where you take a kernel of truth and expound on that. "Look I know that I've taken a lot of sick days, but I haven't used any vacation days and try and help out whenever I can, how can you say that no one works but you." You need to make it seem like all the possible statements are true, if you use to many lies then no one will believe you.
7) Liars won't freely touch their chest
At least in America I can say this one is true. We have it deeply ingrained in us from a young age that putting your hand on your heart is meant to be used in oaths and truth tellings. So the fastest way to get any run of the mill person to believe you is place your hand on your heart, look them straight in the eye and say, "I didn't do that."
Anyone looking for you to have done something may not believe it. But any random person you meet on the street will most likely believe you.
8) Liars touch their ears and faces
This is just like with a poker tell. You can't control it and may not even realize you've done it until you've actively tried to stop doing it.
It's a way our mind is attempting to shield our eyes and expressions. But really people look for it and can tell that your attempt to cover it is showing you're guilty. So again. Don't do this.
9) Liars often give unfalsifiable statements
This is like a get out of jail free card. If you say "I don't remember doing that." No one can prove that you do or do not remember doing something. Police do look for this. But honestly there isn't much they can do about it.
10) Liars do not use contractions
This is my favorite tip. It's something that I like to look for when talking to people. So naturally when you talk you use a contraction. That's just how we were raised. It's what we are comfortable with. But when you lie you tend to take them out of your sentence. When you would normally say, "I didn't do that." You say "I did not do that." This is something that any specialist will spot within an instant. So it's easy, just keep your dialog comfortable. Talk how you normally would.
Thank you so much for making it through this post. I hope I taught you something. Here's a bonus tip!
If you want someone to trust you faster you have to get them to hand you something. If you've just met someone and are talking to them ask them to hand you a napkin or something small. It subconsciously invests them in you. So they are more likely to believe you in a lie.