Here's a double-bill of failures including the infamous St Josephs Orphanage, somewhere everyone would like to explore despite its reputation for extreme creepiness inside.
While we are on the subject of creepiness, I seem to be quite oblivious to picking up signals. I was discussing this with 
The Cottages
The Cottages were something I found by mistake. While scouring for a set of houses in a certain Yorkshire town I spotted a holey looking house on Google Maps.
Cow-shit, pig-shit, and anything that stinks like shit kills the excitement, and the adrenalin visibly flows out of me like strands of mist disappearing into the earth.
A quick look through those holes confirmed my suspicions. This was another crappy barn and another waste of time.
I was ready to give up but a little further up the hill, I spotted a house with a broken window.
…’regular lived in houses, don’t have big holes in the windows or boards instead of glass’…
Were we on to something, or would this be another big pile of shit?
Quickly I saw some very new cameras had been installed on the walls of this trilogy of old cottages.
Someone was taking care of these, empty or not. Undeterred we started having a look around.
Each cottage contained a name, Kingfisher, Kestrel, and Hawthorn, some of the name tags were in better condition than others.
At first glance, the buildings don't look particularly old, but this old date engraved into the stonework told a different story.
1678 is more like the middle ages! I recognize the styling on the '6' which boasts an exaggerated top lettering from other old buildings I have seen.
Not content with looking around the exterior I cupped my hands to the glass and looked inside.
All of the houses were completely empty and without a stitch inside.
These photographs were taken by placing my phone on the glass, though they look good enough to be interior shots.
The stairs are new and it appears a refurbishment job is on being done. There would be little point in going inside a house with nothing at all in there.
Wandering around the other side of the block for some better externals, I spotted a weak point. Can you see it?
Unfortunately for would-be infiltrators, there’s a very inhabited detached property next door to it with a CCTV camera trained on this very spot.
Intentional or not?; Who knows, but the bloke who owned the house was milling around quite unconcerned about what we were up to.
…'did he think we were prospective buyers? We didn't need to betray our intentions this time'…
This one is off the beaten track, is empty, and is being renovated. There is absolutely no need to come and visit 'The Cottages’
It's one for my archives of 'stay away' places.
St Joseph’s Orphanage
This was another celebrity Urbex that we were not expecting to get inside; it’s good to have low expectations to avoid the disappointments.
Having been tipped off that the regular entrance was full of anti-vandal paint I could see that it was quite true.
It hadn't stopped some from trying, I guess they don't care about their clothes, or are maybe vagabond explorers who wear rags?
I have not met a vagabond explorer yet, I think that one is from the outer reaches of my imagination.
A peek through the gap, this is closest we got to all that lovely stuff I know is in there.
Walking around to the other side caused some old bloke to start berating us for climbing up an embankment next his OAP retirement home. It was the usual, 'OYYYYY' followed by another; you do get used to it and to disregard it in most cases.
Ignoring him we continued with our bad attempt to get inside only to be intercepted by a security bloke. In this case, we couldn't ignore him.
He was more concerned that we were going to have an injury and explained that he had in the past treated several of ‘us type' for injuries trying to climb the very same spot we were headed for.
…'if you made it easier for us to get in, there would be fewer injuries!'…
He told us to go to the front entrance as 'that's the easiest way'. Hindsight tells us he was taking the piss, git!
Concrete blocks all over the window and razor wire only the best could get over stood in our way.
Currently, St Josephs Orphanage is off the radar unless you want to wreck all your clothes and/or have some decent climbing skills.
In other words, don’t bother.
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