Meltdown. Depressive episode. Panic attack. Malaise. Suicidal urge. PTSD Flashback. Sometimes the sadness becomes so overwhelming that it seems to squeeze your brain. You can think of nothing but pain. Suicide seems a welcome relief. It may be internally or externally triggered.
I have a lot of experience with feeling terrible. With feeling out of control. With feeling like nothing in the world is ever going to get better and I live in a gray hole of misery. I was convinced that I would have to live my life like that forever. But through the course of that, I've found many ways to help make myself, and the days of misery have continued to decrease in scale. Keep in mind that I am not a licensed professional and if you truly feel in danger, you should get medical help. These are just things from my personal experience that have helped me.
This list is a combination of techniques I've picked up, heard from other people, or found through the course of my own life that helps when you're having a depressive episode or a panicked crisis. This list is a combination of CBT techniques and soothing techniques, for both mind and body.
I understand that making yourself feel better is difficult. Extremely difficult. To the point that it feels impossible. But the more you do it, the more you'll train your brain to react to your actions, and the easier it'll become.
- Recognize that nobody is going to help you except you. This may sound like a terrible thing, but it's a good thing, because you have all the power to help make yourself feel better. Even if a friend were to come hug you, or soothe you, you are still the one engaging with them to make yourself feel better. You are still the one making the decision to be soothed by those actions. So recognize your own supremacy for your body and its feelings.
- Breathe. Take slow deep breaths. This will help to activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which will
- Engage all your senses to get back with reality. Touch one thing. Taste one thing. See one thing. Hear one thing. Smell one thing.
- Ask yourself why you got into this state. What happened? What were the inciting incidents leading up to this moment? Is this panic really as bad as I think it is, or did a simple thought spiral out of control?
- Stop the bad voice inside your head. Everytime it tells you that you're bad, worthless, that nothing is going to get better - DO NOT ARGUE WITH IT. Simply say, "Stop." You may have to say it a hundred, two hundred times. I'm now at the point where I can say it only a few times and it works. But it will take time to achieve mastery over your own brain.
- Ask yourself - have I been taking care of myself? Am I hungry, dirty, dehydrated? Am I sick? Is the reason I'm having a meltdown because physically I need to do something?
- If possible, find a quiet place to be alone, even if it's only for 5 minutes. If you're at work, take a quick break if possible.
- Ask yourself - is there something I can do right now to help solve a problem that I'm having? Am I avoiding something?
- Ask yourself - Am I really leading the life that I want to? Is there something I know that needs to change but I've been pushing it aside? Is there something happening I have control over that is causing me to have these meltdowns over and over again?
- Have a big, cold glass of ice-water or tea.
- Light some candles or incense and lay down in bed.
- Meditate.
- Listen to a favorite song or read a favorite poem. I composed a playlist of songs for a meltdown that are called FOCUS, because I wanted to remind myself that my meltdowns come and I often feel scattered.
- Read a favorite book.
- Take a long shower or bath.
- If you're at home, clean your kitchen or shower. I've found that cleaning is one of the fastest ways to see thought, translated into action, translated into results. And if you're living surrounded by trash and filth, it can demotivate you even more.
- Watch a calming Youtube video - ASMR or a hypnosis video.
- Order some take-out if you just need to take a rest. Or if you can, cook yourself a healthy meal.
- Get some headphones and music on your phone, then go for a walk.
- Write a poem or journal entry.
- Play with a stress-ball.
- Curl up in some blankets and watch a favorite TV show.
- Recognize that you are not avoiding the problem by taking care of yourself. You are simply putting the problem, whatever it is, on pause while you collect your thoughts. You are allowed to not have to fix your life right that second. And if you aren't calm, it'll be extremely difficult anyway.
- Write out a list of what's bothering you, and the tasks that you need to do to fix each one. Oftentimes the scope of what's wrong seems bigger than it actually is inside your head.
- Buy an ebook or audible book that you've been wanting.
- Wash your face.
- Take a motrin or tylenol if you've got a headache.
- Exercise. Go for a run, go to the gym, or do a fitness video. You can do FitnessBlender or Blogilates exercises from home.
- Get out of the house (or work). Find a quiet, shady area and sit down for a minute to collect your thoughts. Keep breathing.
- If you're out and about with friends, it's okay if you excuse yourself and go home. Don't stay out and make yourself miserable if you're not having a good time.
- Stick your hands in the freezer, or hold ice. I've found that when I'm having an extreme episode the cold will shock me back into my body.
- If you have a collection of something (Funko Pops, rocks, bookmarks) - go through it and reorganize it.
- Scroll through social media - Tumblr, Steemit, or Pinterest. (Although sometimes I find it makes my meltdown worse as I feel like the information can be too much. But sometimes it helps, so be careful with this one.)
- Go buy a cup of coffee from Starbucks or a local coffee shop. Sip it slowly and appreciate it.
- Eat something sweet. (But don't binge. It'll usually make you feel worse.) I used to go to a gourmet cupcake shop or a French bakery just outside of work, either get a cupcake or macaron and savor it.
- Brush your hair.
- Change your clothes if they're dirty. If you're a woman, do your makeup if you can.
- Remind yourself that you are important. You are part of the human race, and you are designed to try to live your best life, not only for you but for the world. Whether or not you've found your purpose, you belong here.
- If you have the money and there's something you've been wanting, buy it. (But exercise caution with this one. Don't make splurging a habit. That's how a lot of people run up credit card debt.)
- Talk to a friend. But honestly, I'd recommend just talking about their lives and having a friendly conversation. I find that dumping on my friends psychologically often makes me feel more stressed out. If I'm more focused on them and not my issues, then I tend to feel better. However, if you have a relationship with someone who gives good advice, you can always ask their advice.
- Write out a list of goals. If you don't have any goals, write out things that you might enjoy doing. If there's nothing you might enjoy doing, then write out what the child version of you used to enjoy.
- Meditate.
- Talk to your inner child. It might take some practice, but there is always a version of you, smaller, more optimistic, and needs your self care and guidance, that is always inside you. They are simpler, but often more honest, and they often have the issues
- Ask yourself - when is the last time you did something that you actually wanted to do? The last time you took care of yourself? And why haven't you done it? If it's because you don't have the money - then what is something you can do that doesn't require money?
- Paint, draw, or scribble. Allow your hand to move without compunction.
- If you just feel like diving down into bed and giving up, sometimes you need to just push yourself to do 1 thing on your to-do list. Tell yourself you can do that 1 thing and then go back to bed. But oftentimes you'll find that you want to keep going.
- Ask yourself - what is the one blocker in your life right now? What is causing you the most amount of pain? And what are the steps you can do to fix that? If you don't know, then research it.
- Recognize that you are human, and that no human escapes this life without pain. Recognize that just because you are going through pain does not mean you are permanently broken.
- Keep breathing. I know I already mentioned breathing, but it's very important.
- Recognize that this moment will pass. Recognize that you will not be this miserable forever, and that this is only a moment in time. This too, shall pass.
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