I got permission to walk off the hospital grounds. After five days in an induced coma and a week lying in the bed then a week of short walks on the intensive care unit I was ready for some fresh air. I was feeling pretty guilty about what brought me there. Alcohol poisoning, seizure, years of drinking to understand some point in my life that I know longer even knew what it was I was after anymore. I was still a young, talented, skilled and attractive woman but I just didn’t care anymore. I had no idea why. At 35 years old life had lost all meaning. I did feel that I was pretty much worthless after this episode though. What kind of a person would nearly drink them self to death? Was I a loser? But I was glad I was alive. I put some pants on under my light blue hospital gown and headed down the hallway to the elevators.
I walked out into the glaring sunshine. The cement colored Los Angeles neighborhood seemed as devoid of life as ever but I was alive and that was all that mattered. As I walked I wondered what I was going to do to fill this void inside of me.
Two thirds around the block on my walk a young hispanic woman walking with a young also hispanic boy 7 years old. I walked over onto the hospital grounds small park and sat down on a bench under a tree. As I got comfortable I noticed they were walking towards me. Suddenly they were standing right in front of me and there was something about this boy’s eyes, they were deep, lucid brown eyes. Like pools of some esoteric knowledge they just drew me in. I felt startled.
“Hi, I’m Isaiah.”
“Hi.”
I wasn’t sure why but as surreal it felt for this boy to talk to me it almost felt like I had been waiting my whole life for this moment. Something was up with this woman and this boy and it unsettled me but I felt very calm about it like I needed ready for anything.
“Are you sick?”
“Uh, yeah. The doctors are taking good care of me though.”
“Oh. I hope you feel better”
The woman just stood there and half smiled. People were walking by, other patients milled around. I wondered if they were visiting someone. But I was too preoccupied with my own situation and trying to fit them in at the same time to ask any questions.
“Listen, I need to use the restroom inside. Would you mind keeping an eye on Isaiah for a quick minute?” The woman spoke perfect english, no accent at all so she seemed to be American.
“Um, OK no problem I’m just sitting here.”
“Thanks I’ll be right back”
She walked around the corner to the front entrance and disappeared. Isaiah looked at me and beamed a huge smile.
“Can I show you something right down the street? I built a fort.”
“Yes, sure. Show me.”
He took my hand and looked up at me with those eyes and that smile. We walked two short blocks down then turned into an alley. There was a red tent behind a dumpster. Isaiah unzipped the flap and opened it.
“This is my fort and I sing songs in here.” He climbed in and I stuck my head in. I looked inside and there were two neat piles of clothes in the corner and some cans of food. A sleeping bag was rolled up next to a pillow with a faded pink pillowcase.
Isaiah sat next to the pile of clothes. “Come in.” He kept beaming that smile at me.
I felt like I was dreaming. I crawled in and sat down. I quietly stared at the boy. All of as sudden he started to sing.
I’ll be there for you
I will never leave you
Whenever you need me
I’ll be there for you
My head started spinning. Was this child from another planet or something? These people obviously need help. What the hell?
“Isaiah let’s go back to the bench now your mom should be coming back.”
“Ok.” He cheerfully responded.
I opened the flap to exit and the woman was standing at the end of the alley holding the hand of a little girl who looked to be about five years old. She looked at me expressionless. Then she turned around and walked away. I knew she wasn’t coming back.
I looked at Isaiah and we both knew.
“I’m so sorry Isaiah.”
“Thank God!” He replied still smiling.. “Let’s go. Now I can write and sing more songs. She doesn’t like my songs.”
What was I gonna do with this kid?
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