I hear ya bud. Been through this up and down for the last few years. I'm almost 40, got a wife, kids, house, cars, money... all of that shit. I realised it's a 'spiritual' thing that I'm missing. I know there's more to life but finding it in a money and possession obsessed world is very difficult. I've embarked on a mission of love and understanding for other people as well as love for myself that I don't get much of from others so I must find it within myself. Stay strong bro and if you ever need anyone to talk to reach out to me on Discord ✌️