The joy of every parent is to see their children grow into responsible citizens but these come with few sacrifices.....
Raising a child is not easy at all and I must commend our mothers in a very special way, this is because most times they are the only ones mostly available as the father is bustling around for the daily bread, so, unless your formative age was different, I spent mine mostly with my mum while our father came home twice a week (you needed to see the joy in our face whenever he came back).
As a child, most of the reasons why some certain things are done to us remain blurred to us and only get clearer the more we grow and this is what makes it most difficult to raise a child.... It seems like two opposing counsels coming after one another.
It takes extra effort to get the child to drop what he thinks is right and do that which you want, sometimes requiring parents to take drastic measures.
I had a very wonderful childhood but then there are few things I would love to do extra for my children:
Things I did but my children won't
Won't Spend The Whole Day Hanging Out:
Growing up as a child, I was very free to go out anytime I wanted most of the days that weren't school days.
We lived in the same neighborhood with my cousins and friends and we will always hang out together to spend the whole day doing nothing other than playing and discussing (most times, my parents will send my sibling to instruct me to come home anyway).
This was very enjoyable to me then but thinking about it now, I won't love my children to do the same thing.
I am not against them hanging out with friends but then I am certainly against them hanging out with their friends from morning till night like I did.
The more a child go out, the more exposed he or she becomes and the world is really going crazy nowadays so I wouldn't love my child to be exposed to what he or she can't process with the small knowledge he has and end up getting confused in life or making a mistake under my watch.
As a growing child also, he should be focused on reading good storybooks and hangout only in the evening because yes! There is time for everything under the sun.
Won't Spend The Whole Day Playing:
Here comes another thing I really enjoyed growing up.
My mum will always shout at me while growing up telling me that, "morning is sacred and not for playing" but once she leaves for work, I'll wait for 30minutes before running out to join my peers to play.
What a stubborn boy I was🤦
I am a lover of football as you may have known and this love started since I was a kid.
Back then as a child, we played football even till 7pm and will continue if we aren't stopped.
Sometimes we start playing as early as 10am when we haven't even finished doing house chores assigned to me.
My children will have their time to play football or engage in any recreational activity they want but I am saying it must be after a productive day.... Maybe they will start playing in the evening and must end playing on or before 6pm.
This will enable them to take their bath,rest well and get ready for the rest of the day's activities.
Also, it will help them to be able to finish up with assisting in kitchen duties to make sure the dinner is ready on time.
Fighting:
Fighting was another trademark I had as a child.
This is very sad because most times after fighting, I end up regretting it and most times the person I fought with will come with his or her mother to my home at night to complain.
Are you surprised seeing her😂..
Of course, when I was small, I fought both genders with reckless abandon... I just see you as my troublemaker and no gender strings was attached., Hehehe.
I would advice my child never to engage in fights because most times they end up complicating small issues.
They are really not worth it at the end.
I will teach them how dialogue helps solve problems better than fighting and would hope they listen and adhere to it.
Things that was done to me but I won't do to my children
Flogged With Big Cane:
Yes! As you may have seen above, I was quite stubborn growing up but what I didn't like was my father flogging me with canes taller and bigger than I am then😩
I still have the memories of those canes in my head.. they are so big that seeing them alone could send you to coma😂.
What if I died, hehehe.
I would correct my children as the occasion demands and with whatever techniques available but then if it warrants flogging, I will try and find a sizable one.
Although I don't really believe in correcting children with canes but I know that some situations call for it but most times, I will explore other available options (advice and other punishments) before resorting to a sizable cane, hehe.
Denied A Meal:
It's no news in the African homes about denying a child meal when he misbehaves.
I didn't personally experience this though but I always saw our neighbor doing it to her child.
On my end, my mum will make sure you cry begging for that food but will give you your share after a while probably after you've done what you refused doing before the food came 😂.
I really don't like this idea of starving the child as I think this makes the child vulnerable to eat from anyone he sees that offers one.
I think this is a bad thing for the child to grow up doing
Also, malnutrition is really something to avoid especially in children as it could affect their growth and development.
Like I said before, I would explore other options of punishment as starving isn't an option for me.
Fulfil My Promise To My Child:
Just very few persons here weren't promised bicycle if they take the first position in their class 😂
How many persons got it because I didn't, hehehe.
This is to tell you how common it is over here, parents keep promising us heaven and earth If we succeed in one thing or another and they never fulfill these promises.
I know the promises were to serve as source of motivation to us and maybe they would have loved fulfilling it but situations didn't permit.
For my children, I would love to promise them what I could afford at that point so that if they end up succeeding, I will gladly fulfill what I promised them.
This will not only make them look up to your promises but will also make them strive harder to put in their best because they know gift awaits them should they perform well but will also boost their confidence and above all, teach them to take promises serious because a man should be responsible for what he says.
Be More Available As A Father:
Just like I've said earlier, my dad wasn't there most times in my formative age because he was out working hard to put food in our table which is a very beautiful thing and I owe him for that.
But when I have my own children, I would really love to do everything possible to be there for them even as I strive hard to put food in their table also.
I would love to have a special connection and bond with my children.
God bless every parent out there
God bless our mothers
God bless every kid out there also
Thanks for reading through and have a great week ahead👍