Omgoodness. Is it a wonder that the odds of having a successful marriage are 50:50? By successful, I mean where you live with your spouse amicably; and never end in divorce court as a base description.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord…Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it… (Ephesians 5:21, 25).
Yes, per the title, it is actually a biblical precept that each spouse has a specific role. When given a little thought, it really all makes sense at the end of the day. Since the two become one after ‘I do’, it becomes clear that someone has to have the final say; or the discussion may never end.
Men shouldn’t gloat; but, yes, a husband is the head of his wife, just as Christ is head of the Church. Now, before one gets too egotistical about things, know that above all duties, God commands that you are to LOVE your wife.
Yes, love. Of course, physical love is part of the equation; but, in this context it is clarified that you are to love her as Christ loved the Church. This is more of a spiritual love; a love which falls along the lines of unconditionally caring for another (agape). That’s not to discount the eros love that most think of in discussions of love and marriage; but, the importance of keeping the emphasis on the love which is spoken of as God’s requisite.
First Corinthians 7: 5-15 emphasizes that a spouse is never to deprive the other of amorous regard; except during agreed upon fasts; but, a husband is always to love his wife unconditionally; and likewise, a wife is to always respectfully defer to her husband’s decisions without exception.
If you are, or have ever been married, you prolly know how difficult loving unconditionally can be. Loving unconditionally means loving even when you’re not feeling as such. Loving unconditionally means loving even when the spouse is in a learning cycle of her role in the marriage relationship.
Speaking of, wives are called to submissively respect their husbands. Nothing is sadder than observing a woman over-speak her husband’s tone and/or decisions. Of course, I realize she is merely an unlearned wife; meaning no one has taught her by word or demonstration her proper role as a wife.
Yes, it’s very true. Wives are to yield their desire to their spouse when the two reach an impasse. Women, don’t panic; don’t fret yourself. If your husband is living according to the Word, his love for you will supersede his desire; or at least come to a peaceful compromise where both of you benefit. This would be ‘philos’; a give-and-take kind of love.
It’s amazing; but, as usual, God’s Design always intrinsically works out for the best. If you are married, I could give countless examples; but, for sake of purpose, I will leave you with an experiment.
Disclaimer: I assure that this will be difficult if you are in relationship with an emotionally unhealthy individual due to extraneous issues. You are to always measure your decisions in accordance with the Holy Spirit. I always use the extreme example especially for wives. Don’t get things twisted. If your husband tells you to do something which is illegal; this goes against God’s Word to "obey the laws of the land" (Romans 13:2). One trumps the other. In other words, submitting does not mean putting man before God. God would not tell you to rob a bank, or peddle street drugs. It is then that you have to test the spirit by the Spirit and make lifestyle adjustments accordingly. Essentially, each person is to exist in relationship as UNTO THE LORD ALWAYS.
That said, it’s the weekend; thus, a perfect opportunity for each person to begin applying this Scripture.
In healthy relationships, wives, allow your husband the final say in discussion. Offer your view; and let it rest. He heard you. If he is wise he will glean from your words what makes the most sense. If you’re at the home-repair store, and he says this would be better than that. Go with it. Let him lead in the final say.
Husbands, treat your wife as the weaker vessel that she is (1 Peter 3:7). If she’s struggling to lift something heavier than her strength, step in and give her a hand. I assure you, this will go a long way in the expression of love. I genuinely believe it’s the small generosities we discipline ourselves towards which yields the largest harvest in relationships.
It’s the small things we do throughout the day which are remembered decades after in every relationship we’re a part of; from parents to children, children to parents, personal and business relationships, on and on.
Best regards.
Peace.