Who of us remember playing with babies and barbies growing up?
I remember always packing one around, couldn't wait for the day to become a mom. It's funny how back then you don't really think much into it. Dolls and barbies only cry, need diaper changes, or feedings whenever we choose. We don't really think of the all nighters that come with a newborn, health issues that could possibly occur, the momma blues that could occur after birthing, so many other endless possibilities. I mean I'm sure as we got older those thoughts floated across our minds at some point.. but actually experiencing it is something completely different.
I remember when I found out I was pregnant with our first born, all I could think is “It's about to get real, real fast. And there's no turning back.” I remember the joy of hearing his heartbeat the first time. The fear of gaining so much weight lol. I honestly never truly soaked in all the beautiful things that my body did for him while he was forming inside of me. I was young, scared, and didn't see the beauty of things exactly.
The day he was born, I had just hit the 37 week mark. It was like 2am when my water broke. My entire body shook from the fear of what was about to happen. Thankfully I had a short labor! 5 hours start to finish and we were through the “rough” part. I say “rough” part because little did I know all the heart ache and excitement that would follow years to come.
We named him Bentley John. He was so so tiny! 5Lbs 12oz and only 18in long. I still have his preemie clothes that were a little big on him at first. I never realized how true it was when they say, “love at first site.” Funny memory that'll always be with me, when he needed his first feeding the nurses handed him to me, I just stared at him. The nipple on the bottle seemed bigger than his mouth. I was like “Umm.. I don't know what I doing.” I literally said that out loud. Ha Ha! All those times growing up with feeding those baby dolls and even babysitting the babies, it was like it was all a blur. All I could do was shake, scared I would hurt him.
The joys of looking back and reminiscing.
Earlier I mentioned the “rough” in quotations... I did that because people warn you all along that when your child feels pain, you'll feel it too. Silly young me.. hmm. That was a good one. I don't know how many times I cried with him when he got a boo boo. Or how many heart attacks I had when he got himself a good bruiser or close call. Phew! Like our hearts are a beast machine!! HaHa! Handling all these emotions and we're still here walking around pretty good. But once again, I never expected anything super serious, right?
When he was 2, he went to a daycare, we noticed he was super shy (of course he had been home with me for 2 years, every single day and moment.) but we also noticed he was super loud. Kinda like he had a hearing problem or something. We got his hearing checked over and over.. nothing. Eventually I pulled him out of daycare and just focused on staying home. I was super picky of what he ate.. obviously not as strict as now. But I didn't know what I knew now. So yes every once in awhile we would splurge and have those naughty treats as we call them now.
Fast forward to when Bentley turns 5, he got to start pre-school!!
He was SO excited! But there was just something in my mommy gut that kept telling me something was off. I couldn't bring myself to take him to the doctors. I knew my husband suffered from adhd pretty severely during his childhood. Eventually he was able to learn to control it himself, but I also heard horror stories of the side effects of medication. I wasn't about to put my own child through that. Just couldn't bare the thoughts.. I eventually ended up talking to my mother in law and we came up with an idea.. I'll share more on this here a little bit.
xoxoxo