Scene: In a voluntary society on a distant planet, a stranger with psychopathic traits from another land shows up. The psychopath steps in front of one of the local anarchists in the street.
Psychopath (huge fake grin): Give me half your cash.
Anarchist: NO.
Psychopath: You have to, so I can protect you.
Anarchist (trying to contain laughter): For the sake of argument, how are you going to do that?
Psychopath: Well, in more than one way, actually. If you have any type of threat, you can call a special number and someone wearing a special badge and uniform might respond.
Anarchist: Look, I don’t know where you’re from, but around here, individuals take responsibility for their own defense. Some voluntary security firms exist here, but that’s the thing. They’re voluntary. The people that work for the firms adhere to Natural Law, just like everybody else.
Psychopath: Well, that’s not all I’m planning to do for your protection! There’s more! I’m going to pay people to go to the other side of the world and kill people and take their stuff. It will be called "the military".
Anarchist: That's violent aggression, which is WRONG! I don't want anything to do with that! And how the hell is that supposed to protect anyone anyway? (starts to walk away, but the psychopath persists)
Psychopath: But I’m going to build roads, too! (pulls out gun) Give me half your cash so I can protect you and build roads!
Anarchist: Number one, someone sticking a gun in my face and trying to rob me leads me to have serious doubts as to their sincerity in wanting to protect me. Number two, roads already exist. Even if roads didn’t exist, I’m sure the best way to build them wouldn’t involve robbing people. Also, I don’t want your so-called protection, and you couldn’t protect me even if you wanted to, anyway. Now leave me alone.
Psychopath: I’m not robbing you! It’s called taxation!
Anarchist: Don’t play some ridiculous, euphemistic word game for mind manipulation purposes with me! You’re trying to take my stuff by using a violent threat! That’s called robbing!
Psychopath: But I’m going to build schools, too!
Anarchist: What are those?
Psychopath: An education center for children! Places where children will be forced to go for 15,000 hours in the first 18 years of their life. They’ll be away from their families and with complete strangers and learn the value of unquestioning obedience. You don’t have schools here?
Anarchist: Dude, what planet are you from? First of all, that is NOT education. Secondly, why the heck would anyone want to do that to their children? And unquestioning obedience, also known as order-following without conscience, allows evil to occur, so I have a serious moral objection to your absurd proposal. Of course, your proposal is based in violence anyway, because you’re trying to rob me to pay for it, so that makes it illegitimate to begin with. Does this insane, overall plan of yours have a name?
Psychopath: It’s called “government” where I come from.
Anarchist: Well, then, "government" is the worst idea I’ve ever heard. And by the way, government means mind control. I already have internal government because I control my own mind. I rule myself, and nobody else. That’s how the vast majority of people behave here. I think what you’re describing is some immoral, harmful external government where you’re trying to rule other people. Now, please, leave me alone.
Psychopath (hand holding pistol starts to quiver): But don’t you want to help people?
Anarchist: Don’t try to guilt trip me with some lame, fallacious appeal to emotion fallacy! Violent actions, fraud, and coercion are immoral and harmful! Period! Look, this is your last warning. I’ll exercise my right to self-defense if you don’t leave me alone.
Psychopath: I’ll pull this trigger! I will!
Anarchist does a quick draw with his own pistol and points it to the psychopath’s head.
Anarchist: No you won’t. You’re just a con man with empty threats.
Psychopath lowers pistol, frowns, and walks away.
Anarchist continues to be free.
Thanks for your time and attention!
Just say "NO" to slavery!
Top image is from ids.uni.edu