"The great problems are inherently insoluble as they involve opposing polarities in the self, polarities necessary in any self-regulating organism... Some people seem to grow out of these problems, not by any willful action, but through a quiet assimilation and transcendence... Some obscure hint, external or internal, beckons and leads them on..."
(slightly paraphrased and summarized from C.G. Jung's, The Secret of the Golden Flower)
I prefer to work alone, driven by will power. When I socialize, I drink too much; alcohol magically switches off or tamps down my egotistical will power. I am freed for social give and take, useful exchanges, a good time. This is fine, except for alcoholic addiction and damage to my health. Alone and together are "polarities" I cannot escape; I must have both to live fully. With alcohol I careen back and forth between them.
The problem is worse when I am not productive, stuck in my work. I crank up the will power, which then becomes harder to shut down when I am socializing. This leads to heavier drinking and a downward spiral. Calling on will power to stop drinking doesn't work for me. Rigid self-control closes me further into a lonely life that eventually explodes, sometimes damaging others.
What to do?
I gained hope from Jung's calm assurance that some of his patients outgrew this sort of intractable problem, but not through any action taken by will power. I accepted that I couldn't force a change, that my big gun was useless. That was immediately relaxing. I was released from the need for forceful action. In a more peaceful mood, I saw the dynamic as it is: a tug of war between two states, each necessary for a healthy life. My precious will power was screwing up the balancing act.
From that moment on, my habits began to change and the problem to fade.
I write this for anyone who suffers from a seemingly impossible choice. It might help to consider Jung's observation that the choice is necessarily impossible (for a healthy life). It cannot be made, but it can be outgrown.
C.J. Jung (for those who don't know of him) died in 1961. He was one of the great pioneers in psychology. His autobiography, Memories, Dreams, Reflections is well worth reading (maybe not at the beach).