When I am asked by my peers how I managed to over come problem gambling, and how they could achieve similar results, I simply told them to keep the fire burning.
To keep the fire burning is an important ingredient in getting bad habits under control.
To keep the fire burning is backed by natural principles
To keep the fire burning brings about positive results when applied in any endeavor
To keep the fire burning is the base pillar upon which any evolutionary change is possible.
To keep the fire burning is exactly what i will be doing in this blog post ....
Stay turned
Yesterday I had a lengthy discussion with my friend Phil who is a problem gambler.
He is a smart promising young man with big dreams but like me some two years ago, his dreams are limited by his gambling habits.
His purpose of visit was to be able to share his burdens with me and also seek my personal advice on helping him attain freedom from this self inflicted delima.
This was not the first of such visits. We have been friends more than 15 years so he knows i will always offer him as much help as i could. He knows that i will always act to protect his interest and identity (which is why i am not using his real name). lol
Secondly phil choose me to talk to about his gambling activities because he knows that i can never judge or accuse him of being irresponsible....
I did not have that right!!
Rather i shared in his plight and we started talking about coming up with ways to help phil control his gambling using the same principles that worked for me.
Phil knows that i was a chronic gambler in time past so he knew i had a better understanding of how he was feeling at the moment.
Sincerely, its not a pleasant feeling when struggling with an addiction of any sort. Self condemnation and worthlessness becomes part of your most dominant thoughts , hence militating progress and happiness.
My friend phil had lost the sum of $220 within the weekend from which only $80 was his, the balance was for a renovation project that was to start today at his fathers compound and now he needed to come up with just another lie or maybe a miracle.
He shared with me that It was becoming obvious at his home that him( phil) should never be trusted with money and his dad told him earlier last week the renovation project money was only a test to finally check if there was something wrong ......
A test which he has completely failed.
Of course the was something wrong some thing that requires serious attention to fix.
#Our habits make or break us.
After listening closely to phil, and being fully aware that phil really did not want to cause his dad any discomfort, i told him with my eyes affixed on he's that the secret was to "keep the fire burning".
I told him never to give up on believing that he could still turn a new leaf and take back control of his life. The enemy wants you to feel that way.
Instead i advised him to try to internalize the hurt he was feeling as at when we spoke and never let the pain of last night just go away.
He must be able to start recognising individual emotions related to each gambling season, so that over time he can start making thoughtful decisions based the way he felt concerning an event.
This may sound confusing trying to put it down in writing, but consider the photo below, it was taken from my personal dairy where i wrote down how i felt after a day at the casino about 3 years ago.
I am not saying i stopped gambling immediately i wrote down those words, No.
But as i explained to phil, constantly writing sad words like this and reading them when i felt the urge to gamble played an important role in my fight against this habit.
It became a way for me to remind my sub-conscience that i was hurting and that i needed a change in results.
This constant reminder of how my gambling habits where causing me pain and disrespect is what i mean by keeping the fire burning.
It means to constantly remind your self of the negative feeling why you want to quit that bad habit.
#Any bad habit i must say !
I told phil to take complete record in writing of how the whole crisis about the money he used would go, he should try as much as possible to put everything into consideration like ( how he feels about not being trusted by his own family, the insults that might come flying and his mood through out this sad ordeal ) and when next we met, he will be sharing the experience with me.
We would continue like this going forward for a month then we will come back to check his habits.
He was to be the judge, we were not looking for total abstinence for that requires time and effort.
What we seek is his ability to recognise moods and feelings and to try to decide which he preferred at any particular time.
This was the first step of taking back control and if he continue to write down the bad feelings associated his gambling habits, and reading them every now and then, sooner or later, his sub conscious would have to give in and seek for a change in result.
#Here is the task i gave to phil.
Continue with your bad habits but just make a note of how you feel each time you do them weather the results are good and bad.
Then he has to go back and read those words over and over again to keep the fire burning in his heart when ever the urge to gamble struck.
I know no man is born addicted to any substance therefore no addiction is permanent.
I hope phil get better soon....
Until then i remain 
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