That's how I feel at work + a bucket of anxiety here and there.
It's odd.
Today I submitted my resignation letter and I have 15 days left here. It should be obvious that when I'm not enjoying my job I should quit and find something new. Moreover I'm planning on getting more active here, learning about investing and starting a photography career. Instead of confidently making the jump I panicked and started seriously doubting myself.
"what if"
There's no telling how things will go, but without trying nothing will ever change.
What this job has given me is a load of motivation. I now, again, know that a 8-5 job isn't for me. It will wear me out and hinder me from doing what I enjoy, but it will keep me alive (if you can call it that).
I don't know how I should live. What's the goal? What do I owe society? Should I find a job serving and building to keep this world up and running or should I put my needs first and do the things I enjoy?
I've decided there are far too many people. Everyone does something and it doesn't matter in the big scheme. If I can find a way to make money, the how is not important.