If you can't win your race, make sure the guy ahead of you breaks the record. - Steven Prefontaine
What we tend to forget from time to time, is that competitors are no enemies. They can actually become our most valuable source of inspiration, best trainers and most efficient motivators.
If we let them be.
What I've learned over the years - living in different countries and getting in contact with different cultures - is that how people deal with competitive situation has a lot to do with their educational and cultural background. While in some nations competition is rated as someting positive, able to leverage the true potential of an individual as part of a community, in others people are not taught how to embrace the challenge. Hence, they have their difficulties in dealing with the better one next to them.
I've even noticed that in some nations people generally perceive competition as a threat, and their natural reaction on people who're more successful than themselves is stiring up trouble.
They begrudge others the shirt on their back.
Besides a certain cultural influence, often the inability to appreciate healthy competition is proof of a lacking self-confidence. It's hard to have faith in the chance to seriously compete, if you're not convinced about your own skill set.
A popular reaction is then:
I can't get there? Whatever, I never wanted.
Instead of capitalizing the challenging situation, people often start being jealous and blanket their own potential with negativity. Then the what-does-he-has-what-I-don't-have-issue denies them any chance to succeed by themselves.
Deep inside they may know that they're on the wrong path :-)
How do you deal with people that are more successful than you are?
Picture kindly provided by pixabay
The #neidkultur
In German we even have a term to describe the culture of envy.
As I said, some nations are more trained on these situations than others. American people, for instance, are role models in taking advantage on competitive environments. They admire those who're more successful than themselves instead of being envious.
It's a completely different approach.
Envy is an universal human emotion, that is appreciable in almost all well-known cultures. Yet, it's closely tied up to culture-specific evaluation of social inequality. - Languages of emotion
Envy and discredititation are serious success blockers.
According to Leo Monada, a Professor of Psychology at the University Trier (Germany), there are two main premises for envy:
Competition and a low self-esteem. You wouldn't envy the Prince of Bangladesh, since he's too far away. People envy their colleages or friends.
I don't know how you think about it, but to me envy has always been a huge waste of time.
Here's the secret: In order to succeed, you don't need to take away anything from anybody!
Successful people don't envy others, because they're busy with more important things
Have you ever seen any successful sportsman being jealous?
I haven't.
Just imagine how ridiculous a player during the Soccer World Cup may look like giving an interview and revealing envious emotions towards a competing team.
Professionals don't waste their time with negative emotions, and that doesn't only apply to sportsmen.
Smart people appreciate the chance to learn from the best - to then improve their own doings. Like that, competitors become their most valuable mentors, without needing to hire them.
As we have discovered in this article, it requires confidence and self-esteem to not only enter competition but also not to begrudge others being first.
If you can't be happy for their success, then it says more about yourself than about them.
The next time you feel the envy arising, turn it into a positive energy and use it for your own benefit
Admiration for someone can be a great source of personal inspiration, hence the ultimate driver to growth.
Remember: Envy slays itself by its own arrows.
Much love,
Marly -
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This blog was created in July 2016, aiming to provide thought-provoking content for open-minded people who go on adventure, step out of comfort zones and embrace the new.
Thanks for being part of the journey!