Shhh. Quiet. Don't say a word. Or if you do, be careful what you say.
Is there anyone that you feel you must choose your words for? I think that we all know people that we feel we need to either protect or fear them. Some break down in tears at the smallest perceived slight, some erupt into a rage at the tiniest criticism and some withdraw into themselves like a wounded animal whenever corrected, or lash out like a cobra backed into a corner.
So we tiptoe.
We say that these people are overly sensitive, even passionate but I disagree. If anything, they may be under-developed emotionally, immature. We watch our words with children in an attempt to keep them motivated or not damage their growing sense of self, to hold fears at bay and maintain a curious mind.
Children's minds. We try to keep them open so they can challenge what they know, question their world, discover new and build the skills to solve problems, create a life. We do it this way for they are inexperienced.
But that is not what we are doing with these adults. We fear them. We fear their reactions, their outbursts, their tears. We fear they will do something rash, even become violent or maybe harm themselves. We fear they may breakdown, never run again.
And we tiptoe.
It is not their emotions that cause this but an irrational mind, one that cannot gauge the power of communication, or the strength of their own response. Minds that cannot tolerate being wrong, embarrassment or negative feedback. Those that have no impulse control and no way to evaluate themselves. Minds that warp the world into one where they are always in the role of victim. Omit their persecutions.
Therefore we tiptoe.
We hold back our words and opinions, we hold back our fears and emotions. We hold back our questions and feedback. We hold back anything they could be perceived as a threat, anything they could interpret as an attack. We hold it all back, we hold back ourselves.
We cannot be who we are for who we are offends, our ideas are inappropriate, our words weapons. Our dreams differ, our actions too. We cannot be honest, open. We cannot let them see who we are for who we are will not meet their every expectation. So, we hide ourselves away.
Softly tiptoe.
We create safe zones to protect them, build walls so they feel secure. We wrap them in cotton wool, pat them on the back for the slightest achievement, ignore their bad behaviour and gloss over the tantrums. We adjust everything and ourselves to their special needs and instruct others to do the same.
We give them power and position, status by default. We bow to their every whim as if they are emperors and in a way they are. Who gets such treatment but a petulant child born into privilege, never asked to mature?
Because we tiptoe.
When their backs are turned and their ears out of reach, we talk in hushed tones of their inconsistencies, their rage and depressions. We whisper at how they could be something great if only they could learn to control their emotions, control themselves. Words and understanding nods back and forth are exchanged.
But we tiptoe.
If only they would look at themselves and see, the charade and disconnection, the fantasy they live, the concessions made, the soft gloves used. And, all of the pain they cause others who care for them.
But we play a role also, we stunt their growth. How can they course correct if their compass steers false? How do they know the pain their actions cause when we support them so?
Should we tiptoe?
Taraz
[ a Steemit original ]
One of my greatest personal fears in this life is being a burden on others whether physically, financially and especially, emotionally. I am writing something about this now and remembered this post from 8 months ago that looked at a similar topic but from a different perspective. I figure that perhaps in the comments section I will get a few more viewpoints to add to the coming post and, I also noticed a lot of grammatical errors so I cleaned it up a little.