The four days of Easter has been quality time with my daughter, as well as quantity. Whenever we are together I try to make sure it is quality and high value moments for both of us. This means being present and as a result, we talk a lot.
Today we visited friends and they have a teenage son so, having a little girl to play with is a bit of fun for them. They got out a box of Lego and after coffee, we all sat on the floor and played together, chatted and joked around. This is the first time they have really been with her while she is playing and they were a bit surprised as to the complexity of her games and the stories she creates for them. They surprise me too and I am with her every day.
While I do think kids should be kids, I also believe that we routinely underestimate their abilities to understand and take responsibility for their behaviours. While I wouldn't wish my childhood on anyone for the most part, what I did learn was personal responsibility and consequence of action. It is most likely why I don't blame others for my hardships except myself.
Too often these days we raise children as if they are helpless and this manifests into victim mentalities that are unable to cope in various circumstances and instead become passive and inactive in the hope to be saved. Expecting to be saved. No one is going to save us, but ourselves.
Yes, people can help and support may come but reliance on others for wellbeing always leads to imbalances and resentments as desires go unmet. It is not that one has to live in solitude, but to have a good life, one has to feel that they have power and agency over themselves - a sense of control.
I believe that this starts young and can be affected through early childhood experiences when children are trusted with the power to make some decisions and to wear the consequences. It isn't a parent's job to be their children's friend, it is their job to prepare them for the world to come and since that world is an unknown with many uncertain factors, the task is to make sure they can act well no matter the discomfort or fairness of circumstances.
I think we are doing a pretty good job as parents given our resources and, our daughter is advancing well and with curiosity and enjoyment.
If you want a child to be happy, feed them candy. If you want them to lead a happy life, feed them experiences and understanding of them. The first path is easy.
Taraz
[ a Steem original ]
I took these photos today while she was eating her post-nap snack. She has great eyes to photograph and when I am a little better at it, I hope to get a very sharp image of the intricacies tied into them.