Dear moon,
It is almost morning hours as I pen these thoughts and since you rule the night time, I gathered I should be addressing you. It has been two days since my last spill and my mind is throbbing. I can't think straight so I am not even sure where this is going but please bear with me.
The hardest task currently is following up on pursueable interests like filling up my journal with these ghostly images that cloud up my mind but like I keep saying I long befriended pathetic excuses like who would have any curiosity about what my dark mind has been harbouring and such assumptions drain my bleeding ink on a daily.
But we me, myself and i can also put the blame on my inability to quiten the space between my ears. Confrontational demons lurk behind every wide smile ready to strike the moment it disappears. They whisper in mockery and drag me to the jumping into weird conclusions corner and trap me there.
Dear Moon,
Imagine being stuck in a place of wanting to create while doubting the creation? Would you still do it? I have tried it before and this is where the phrase 'what for' rewinds itself like a hyped song in my dissatisfied mind.
The spirit takes in the beating for days or however long it will take until I can write again. I crawl unknowingly back to the waiting sea of my unending depression and sail away from my pens but something always brings me home.
Back to writing. Back to my pens. Back to practicing vulnerability and sharing.
It is bittersweet as therapeutic as it is.
Dear Moon,
The itch to talk to self is here and the ink that drips from the chambers of my damaged soul floods the screen. I can feel the unresolved issues accepting their fate and surrendering to the magic of writing pain. In return, I just find myself healing or unlearning some things.
I wonder then why it takes time to stay immersed in this multifaceted hobby. Why we often separate me and this helpful skill. Why it is always hard to do the walk of shame every time I have to walk back into it. Why words sometimes walk away themselves.
Dear Moon,
Are you still there? And do you have any idea how to fix this?
Photo by maxxy...