Carol Danvers was the kind of Marvel property that had those disgusting neckbeards drooling all over their unwashed shirts while they polluted the world with trivial information about its fictional biography for nearly half a century since its first appearance. In spite of their incessant prattling, though, Carol Danvers and its many alter-egos over the decades remained mostly unknown to people who aren’t unhealthily obsessed with capes, tights, and unrealistic tits and ass. That all changed around the year 2014, though, which was around the same time when the property propelled into mainstream status faster than that hick lady that posted a video where she impersonated Chewbacca a few years back. And all it took for Carol Danvers to go from “that blonde superhero that weird guy from the comic book store won’t shut up about” to certified Marvel cash cow is a freaking red and blue onesie and a Mohawk.
Personally, carol Danvers has had a lot of meat to her story every since its first appearance in the 70s on the pages of Ms. Marvel #1, which by the way also happens to be the first superhero name it got. After a short time, Marvel noticed that they needed to appeal to their primary demographic (pervy nerd boys and girls) and they decided to change her costume into a black one-piece bikini with a red scarf wrapped around its waist and a mask that covers its eyes. Yes, it’s that boring, which says how desperate to diddle themselves these perverts are.
Now, the Carol Danvers property will have that costume for over three decades, give or take a few “universe-changing” bullshit Marvel had come up with that lasted a week or two, like that Binary costume or some other design that would make toys based around the property sell like dirty hotcakes.
It wasn’t until 2014, right when a lot of people were screaming for representation in comics, that the publisher finally decided to turn Carol Danvers into Captain Marvel, a label held by a male property before. And it was a hit. From then on, the property has become huge enough to let Marvel Studios make a movie based on it featuring Allison Brie in the red and blues.
Now, I don’t have much to say about the upcoming movie other than there was an excruciating couple of days some weeks ago when those overzealous, subhuman trolls banged on their keyboard when they saw Allison Brie onset and in costume. But other than that, I don’t know much about what will happen with the movie. And I don’t plan on getting into it.
I mean, come on. Marvel’s already had me hooked on their movies, so I don’t think there’s much need for me to freaking follow each and every step their production team takes. They already have my money; leave me some of my damn time.
In any case, yes, I will watch the hell out of that movie when it comes out. After all, I’m already in too deep this Marvel crap, so I might as well drown in it.
