so that I can study abroad.
dealing with depression everyday is absolutely not funny and I'm slowly dying.
always hearing the voice saying :
you are not good enough you are not good enough you are such a mess you suck just kill yourself kill yourself you want to kill yourself do it do it do it
All I want is to live abroad, draw some shit out, communicate with positive, happy people, learn their language, see the sunlight and chill
money, I never ever had it enough
now I became adult, the pressure naturally, directly came to me when I don't even have idea about myself, life
almost 6 years of depression, anxiety, suicidal, giving up all I wanted, giving up myself, giving up my ego, giving up my life and now people want me to get the fuck out and interact with people, work, find my way on life
seriously guys, you think I can stand up?
I don't even have motivation to live, almost everything brings me down and makes me exhausted.
What do you want from me?
let me live. Just live.
I don't want anything but just help me live, without caring about anything, anyone but just myself.
myself.
money. money. money. money. money. always money. money. money.
I've had enough seeing my family falling apart because of that
I gave up myself I wanted many thing but I just gave up
not it is a sin for me to have thoughts that I want something
okay if nobody, even myself, can't give money, god please give me a better way to die.
I'm done
tomorrow will come again,
will motivation and will to live come to me?