Written by: The Pretender
August 4th, 2016
8 min read
Original published URL: https://www.stickmanbangkok.com/readers-submissions/2016/08/ladyboys-the-rewiring-of-your-heart-and-mind/
Gentlemen,
In this submission I would like to discuss the different stages a western man goes through in his attraction and eventual sexual engagements with ladyboys. The causes of each stage, the overriding thoughts and the behaviour that a man will engage in during each stage.
The high level key drivers for a man engaging with ladyboys in Thailand include being fed up with western women, poor treatment in bars and nightclubs at home in the western world, irritation in general at the western world, frustration at the limitations and expectations of traditional heterosexual relationships, issues with western women due to experience with them over an extended period of time, a desire to try something new and the growing need for more freedom, autonomy and control over one's own life.
So – let’s get to the psychological/behavioral model:
Stage 1: Fantasy
Cause: Humans are sexual beings and we all fantasise. Some of us will fantasise about sex with transsexuals.
Overriding thought: “I would like to fuck a ladyboy”, “if I ever had the opportunity I would fuck a ladyboy”
Behaviour: masturbating to ladyboy or shemale porn on the internet, fantasing about sex with transsexuals.
Stage 2: Relationship breakdown
Cause: May be completely unrelated to fantasies of sex with transsexuals.
Overriding thought: “I’m out of here bitch!”
Behaviour: Moving out of marital home, breaking up with wife or girlfriend, signing lease on new house/apartment, organising finances. May start to form friendships online or in person with men who are regular travellers to Thailand or the Phillipines.
Stage 3: Emotional turmoil / Sexual rampage
Cause: Breakdown in relationship with ex girlfriend.
Overriding thoughts: “I have missed out on so much – I want to fuck anything that moves!”, “it’s so boring living here in the western world”, “No more long term relationships!”
Behaviour: Feelings of depression, anxiety, may try to get back into dating too quickly, may turn to heavy drinking or drugs, attending bars & nightclubs looking to pick up. Begins to research flight and hotel prices in Thailand or the Phillipines. Finds living alone empowering – allows deep thinking and reflection on thoughts and feelings. Conducts independent research on MGTOW, ladyboys, ex patting, reality of life with western women and other related subjects.
Stage 4: Flight
Cause: Very few options left in the western world, dating options limited to undesirable women / women who are too old / too fat / single mothers / etc. Taking flight a rational reaction to the dire situation on the ground in the western world. Thinks about male friends who are miserable/trapped in a relationship with moody, bitchy and/or ageing wives. Sees flight as only option.
Behaviour: Books first trip to Thailand or the Philippines, takes first flight.
overriding thoughts: “I’m going to fuck a ladyboy on this trip!”, “I’m going to try it!”, “I’m a free man now and I can do whatever the hell I want!”, “to hell with western women!”
Stage 5: First sexual experiences with ladyboys in Thailand
Cause: Long held fantasies, long exposure to ladyboy and shemale porn on the internet, breakdown in relationship, new status as free man – in the words of Tyler Durdan “it’s only after we’ve lost everything that were free to do anything”
Behaviour: Holidaying in Pattaya, drinking at ladyboy bars, sex with multiple ladyboys
Overriding thoughts: “this is incredible!”, “I feel amazing!”, “why did I put up with western women’s bullshit all this time!”, “why didn’t I come here sooner?”
Stage 6: Adjustment disorder / Mind fuck / Return to western world / Thailand withdrawal syndrome
Cause: Promiscuous sex with multiple ladyboys in Thailand in a highly condensed time period. May experience more sexual experiences in 2 weeks than has experienced in entire lifetime.
Characteristics: Return to western world incredibly difficult to adjust to, shock at treatment as a utility for whole life, new ability to see through western women's bullshit, anger at being treated like a fool for so long, anger at lies told by family/friends/western society. Problems in the workplace start. Less able to be managed/controlled. May cause workmates to “reevaluate their lives” due to discussion of inappropriate/controversial conversational topics. Workmates form clique and socially exclude the sexual deviant/sex tourist. Begins to see men as the “real romantics”. Sees previously invisible men and recognises their contributions to society.
Behaviour: Planning for next trip begins, saving, not going out, continuing to live alone, stops going out completely/retires from PUA behaviour. Avoids bars/nightclubs. Reflects on sexuality. May initiate contact with ex girlfriend or wife. May initiate contact with other men online who are on a similar path to share experiences due to lack of support at home / nobody else understands situation. May plan trips with other men on same life path. Starts losing existing friends. Friendships with men on same path strengthen.
Overriding thoughts: “I hate living here!”, “I want to get back to Thailand/Philippines ASAP!”, “I can’t believe how under control I was”, “Am I gay or bi?”, “who can I contact about these feelings? Who will understand?”, “these people I work with are way too conservative!”, “this workplace sucks!”, “my workmates all hate me”, “I don’t want to be governed by anyone other than myself anymore!”.
Stage 7: Rewiring of mind and heart
Cause: Promiscuous sex with multiple ladyboys in Thailand in a highly condensed time period. May experience more sexual experiences in 2 weeks than has experienced in entire lifetime.
Behaviour: Obsessional thoughts about transsexuals, trying to figure out ways to be with a transsexual long term, thoughts about bringing one home to the western world, begins to imagine a life with a transsexual. Begins to accept self behaviour and accept transsexuals. Incredible sexual experiences with ladyboys has caused both mind and heart to be rewired. Western women become completely irrelevant / invisible as sexual partners. Western women become highly irritating. Wont put up with western womens shit any longer due to no longer having any sexual interest in them. Seen as having a “deep obsession” towards Thailand or the Phillipines by friends. May become involved in LGBT groups in the western world as coping mechanism. Recognition that Briffault’s Law is weaker with ladyboys. Sees opportunity to engage in a different kind of equal partnership. Hesitance however to enter relationship with ladyboy due to sexual attraction becoming less with age as ladyboy gets older and loses femininity.
Overriding thoughts: “I love ladyboys!”, “ladyboys are the answer!”, “ladyboys and I understand each other”, “a ladyboy can love me as as deeply as I can love”, “a woman never loved me like this!”, “ladyboys will love me in the same way I love her”, “ladyboys will sacrifice for me in the same way I will sacrifice for them”, “a woman could never love me in the same way that a ladyboy does”.
Stage 8: Return trips to Thailand/Philippines. Strengthening of the heart and mind towards ladyboys
Cause: Western world a “relationship desert”, almost no opportunities at home anymore, seen as “too far gone” to be of any use to western women, mind and heart now completely rewired towards sexual relationships with ladyboys. Inability to be used anymore as a utility by western women. Finished as a long term provider in western womens eyes due to having other “more dangerous” options. Recognition by western women of not being able to be controlled by their sexuality and thus a very poor prospect as a life partner.
Behaviour: Complete shutdown of all dating in the western world, avoidance of western women, deepening of friendships in person and online with other western men on same life path. Gives up on western women completely. Recognition that women never loved “personhood” – only “utilityhood”.
Overriding thoughts: “this is my new life”, “this is how I want to live”, “this is cheaper than a wife and a MUCH better experience!”, “women are boring”, “ladyboys are exciting”, “I could live with a ladyboy”, “maybe I should move to Thailand/Phillipines full time?”, “My life would be better abroad”, “I would be happier abroad”.
Life now revolves around Thailand/Philippines trips. Circles between stage 4/5/6/7/8 on The Pretenders "Stages of Living the Dream in Thailand" psychological/behavioral model. (4. Return to Thailand / 5. Compartmentalisation / 6. Bargaining / 7. Acceptance of need to stay in the western world / 8. Acceptance & financial ability to leave the western world and live comfortably in Thailand). https://www.stickmanbangkok.com/readers-submissions/2016/07/stages-of-living-the-dream-in-thailand/
I hope this model is helpful to those of you who are going through your own ladyboy adventures in Thailand.
With thanks to my good girl ladyboy friend in Bangkok for the inspiration for this submission.
Until next time – all the best gentlemen!
The Pretender