Written by: The Pretender
October 28th, 2013
8 min read
Original published URL: https://www.stickmanbangkok.com/readers-submissions/2013/12/why-i-became-a-pattaya-sex-tourist-at-age-33/
Gentlemen,
In this article I would like to discuss the reasons why I became a sex tourist at the age of 33, what happened in my life that lead me to adopt this lifestyle at a comparatively young age and the impact this lifestyle has had on my overall quality of life.
I have had two major relationships with women in my life. The first was with a feminist. I was 22 and she was 29 when we met. This relationship was rocky to say the least. I was young and very naïve and I did not understand the danger that I was in entering in to a relationship with a woman who had completed a women’s studies degree, worked in HR and was a self-described feminist. At age 22 I did not understand female nature and why women behave the way they do. I had no concept of female hypergamy, did not fully appreciate that all women look to marry up and want a tall, wealthy, high status, financially successful man with a good career, nice home which he owns and a nice car. My father had just died and I had nobody I could trust to guide me. I did not ask myself important questions, which are obvious to me now at age 34:
“Why is this 29-year old woman interested in me as a younger man given I have no real wealth or resources?”
“Why is this 29-year old woman not being hypergamous and looking for a higher status partner like 99% of all women are?”
“If this woman is so good – why is it that she is not yet married and why has she been passed over by richer, taller, more financially successful men than me?”
The answers to these questions are obvious to me now – she was interested in me because I was the only man who was naïve enough to hook up with her. She was passed over by richer, taller, more financially successful men because she was a ball-breaking obese feminist that caused stress, arguments and pain to whatever man was in or under her sphere of influence. She was willing to set aside her hypergamous instincts for a period of time to catch me due to her extreme loneliness. Note carefully – set aside her hypergamous instincts for a period of time – not disregard them.
As a 22-year-old man with few resources behind me I took what I could get because I wanted sex. Supply and demand dictated that the women I really wanted to be with – young, fertile, beautiful, sweet, innocent, loving and caring were scooped up by older, more established men. Note carefully here that in the sexual marketplace my value was low whilst my 22-year-old beautiful female marketplace participant’s value was extremely high. You have to observe people’s actions and the actions of the entire population of 22-year-old beautiful women that I was exposed to and who were exposed to me were to pass me over and go for the older, more established man – every time. So given the demand for me was low amongst the women I really desired I had to pick amongst the women for whom demand for them from men was also low and then they had to choose me. That meant shacking up with a 29-year-old obese feminist. I had little to no other options at the time. The relationship lasted about 3.5 years and ended due to her becoming increasingly irritating and violent towards the end due to not getting her own way as I refused to submit to her bullshit.
Next relationship was with a 26-year old American woman who was my age equal but not my financial or wealth equal. During my time with Ms Feminist I managed to accumulate a degree of wealth into my retirement funds of approximately 1.5 times my income at the time – wealth I was lucky to hold onto after our separation. My new American partner had substantial educational debt and brought no financial assets to the table. So I was bringing to the table more wealth than her whilst she was bringing her youth and physical attractiveness. The questions I didn’t ask at the time which are obvious to me now at age 34 are:
“Why has this woman never had a long term relationship before?”
“If this woman is so good – why is it that she is not yet married and why has she been passed over by richer, taller, more financially successful men than myself?”
You see – there is a pattern here with women and me. The pattern is – due to my status as a nerd – a lowly computer programmer – the type of man no woman yearns for in romance novels despite me being physically extremely fit, muscular, tall and handsome (as I have been called by many women, gay men and ladyboys especially when they see my fitness modelling photos), I have had to accept relationships with women whom were not my physical equals.
So – after 7 years with American woman I decided to do a Lenny Kravitz. American woman – get away from me. I ended our relationship and I went my own way.
Much of my personal time during my 20s in between my two major relationships was taken up with reading – intense study – especially about men’s issues. Study I engaged in to try to understand and to put into perspective my negative experiences with Ms Feminist. I started reading online about the men’s movement in the early 2000s and I was exposed to a lot of interesting material that caused me to seriously consider ending my relationship with American woman much sooner and going my own way and doing my own thing.
You see – in life you think that there are only three doors that you can walk through which lead in different directions:
Door 1: Marriage and no children
Door 2: Marriage and children
Door 3: Stay single
What I missed was door 4. I missed door 4 because door 4 is invisible to the naked eye and only revels itself to those who reach a level of personal and intellectual development to be able to see it. This only comes with age and experience dealing with women and relationships and getting knocked about repeatedly, watching and learning from other men and seeing patterns with women, society and relationships. Door 4 was made visible to me by the actions of a friend who is in his 50’s who I spent time with at an over 28s nightclub. He was recently divorced and was travelling to Thailand and the Philippines for the purpose of having sex with younger women. When I met this individual I pegged him as a really nice bloke but a bit of a loser but I could not shake the thought that I might be wrong about him because he was a very intelligent, good-looking engineer who was very insightful about life. The more I thought about him, what he was doing and my own experiences with women here in the West the more door 4 started to reveal itself. All my reading and knowledge about men’s issues had started paying dividends and all the pieces were falling into place. A gentlemen going by the pseudonym Stardusk created a YouTube account and his intellectual contribution to my own knowledge caused the last pieces of the puzzle to fall nicely into place. I saw the bigger picture for the first time and door 4 – the hidden door fully revealed itself to me:
Door 4: Go Your Own Way
MGTOW: Men Going Their Own Way. A group of men online who seemed to know a huge amount about relationships with women. A group of men with experience, knowledge and wisdom about the relationship game. A group of men who I saw myself in as they – like me – refused to surrender their will to the social expectations of women and society because both had become extremely hostile to masculinity. A group of men who made me realise that the only way to win the game was not to play it. I needed to disengage from women, walk away from relationships and go my own way – on my terms.
I started thinking about my friend and why a man in his 50’s would become a sex tourist.
What drove my friend to become a sex tourist?
Could it be that he was doing what all men secretly wanted to do?
Could it be that all the women he has dated and all women in general really wanted security, family, monogamy, home ownership, wealth and luxury whilst the man works as a utility to provide these things and my friend was passed over as not good enough – not up to standard in women’s eyes?
Could it be that my friend was simply 16 years older than me, wiser and more experienced and was a sex tourist because of his vast experience with women in the West and not getting his needs met?
I couldn’t shake off the thought that his behaviour – his actions – were actually reactions. Reactions to the toxic relationship environment here in the West that exists between men and women. Reactions to not getting his needs met. Reactions to being treated like a loser by women who saw him only as a utility and a resource and because he didn’t earn a huge amount of money or meet their ridiculously high standards he was invisible to them.
Then I thought more about him as a man: Why is he not attracted to women his age?
Why are many men when they age attracted to younger and younger women? If this is biology and if this is how I too will become then why do I want to commit to any one woman now when that woman will age, start nagging and complaining at an ever accelerating rate and I will become less attracted to them over time?
I had many questions and all sorts of thoughts were running through my head. I was still in a relationship with American woman at the time and I remember sitting at work staring at my computer monitor and thinking about my friend the sex tourist and his behaviour, recalling books, articles and knowledge I had picked up from the manosphere about women, relationships, men and so on. I was unhappy in my relationship at the time and I knew I would end it soon so finally I just said “f*ck it”, got online and booked a 2 week holiday to Pattaya, Thailand. I had to go and see if that path held any appeal to me.
That decision changed my life.
It changed my life for the better in so many ways that I cannot express my gratitude to my friend the sex tourist. The man I originally thought was a bit of a loser. The man I unfairly judged through the dirty lens I was looking through – the lens of my relationship with my American woman and the lens of the society I was brought up in. A man who I now have much respect for as he followed his heart and did what he wanted to do – against the interests and wishes of western women and western society. A man who chose a path of freedom instead of succumbing to the path of tyranny that is the lot of too many of our brothers.
On my first trip to Pattaya in November 2012 I had to make a decision as I sat down at a bar in Walking Street and had a conversation with a stunningly beautiful ladyboy for the first time in my life. I had to decide if I was going to have sex with this person. To engage in an act which I had been raised never to do. To try something I had never tried before with a person who was so different, so exotic and so physically and sexually attractive to me that I found them very difficult to resist.
Having sex with that ladyboy was the second decision that changed my life.
It changed my life in ways that for me personally gave me a lot of freedom. I now knew that because I could go both ways and was a bisexual, I knew that now I could no longer be controlled by any woman as I had options – dangerous options. Options no woman in her right mind would accept for any man she was in a relationship with. Why should she? It would be against her self-interest, not to mention the interest of the sisterhood, which would cause her no end of shaming for being with a man like me. A woman’s first thought is her own self-interest, then her child’s, then her family's and then her man's – Google “Titanic Death Statistics” if you don’t believe me and note carefully – there were no feminists on that ship as it was sinking.
How could a man like me ever be put under a woman’s thumb and be controlled when I could simply choose to engage in unbelievably mind blowing sexual encounters with ladyboys who are on the same level and up for it like me as a guy? Why would I choose the monotonous, boring life that I had been living before in monogamous heterosexual relationships with all that nagging and complaining with a bitchy, moody, irritating woman who was getting older, fatter and more irritating by the day when I could choose door 4 – Going My Own Way – to Thailand, to engage in paid sexual and escort encounters with ladyboys and choose to voluntarily disengage from women back home in the West, to live alone and to come and go as I pleased and do the things I wanted to do with my time and my money.
So – why did I become a sex tourist?
I became a sex tourist because I started looking at women as they really are – not how I wanted them to be but how they really are. What their actions dictated they really wanted. How they were not on the same level as me sexually as a man – I could find many examples of gay saunas throughout history but absolutely no examples of lesbian saunas. The proof was staring at me the whole time but I was blind to it or refused to see it and accept it.
I became a sex tourist because I wanted a variety of stunningly beautiful, young women and ladyboys and I wanted the freedom that went with that lifestyle. I wanted to be able to walk away afterwards. I wanted freedom and autonomy above all other things in life.
I became a sex tourist because I love the feeling of being lusted after sexually by beautiful ladyboys.
I became a sex tourist because I wanted $x to be a known figure unlike in a relationship where $x has a question mark after it – who knows how much a relationship is going to cost you financially? In many cases close friends of mine have lost everything and have had to start again not from scratch, but from debt. That's a bad position to be in!
I became a sex tourist because for the longest time I lived with irritation – like an itch I couldn’t scratch. An underlying irritation that women were not up for sex the way I was and were never going to be on the same level as me as a man in that department. They saw me as a success object first and foremost and it was my job to satisfy their ever increasing primary female need for security at the expense of my primary male need for freedom.
Being a sex tourist in Pattaya at age 34 is a surreal experience. It is like being a guest at a party that is scheduled to be held for you in the future except it is being held a minimum of 10 years too early. Why did you arrive to your party so early, Sir? You look around and you see many older gentlemen in their mid 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and early 70’s who you suspect might very well be your sex tourist peers judging by the way they behave and the ladies, ladyboys or young men that are accompanying them around town. You see your future as you look at these gentlemen and with it you see freedom, autonomy and a known figure for $x.
Freedom from the tyranny of committed, monogamous relationships in the West.
Freedom to associate with Thai women or ladyboys and to have some of the best sexual encounters of your lifetime with some of the most stunningly beautiful people both inside and out that you have ever met.
Freedom from the nagging, complaining, bitching, moaning and other crap from women in the West who are never happy, cannot be made happy and will forever be driven by this unhappiness (which I believe is biologically based) to seek ever greater levels of wealth and luxury at the expense of your time, your money and your happiness.
So here we are. I am a 34 year old western sex tourist who f*cks women and ladyboys in Thailand. It took 15 years since I lost my virginity to get to this point in time. I am the reaction to the environment and situation on the ground in the West. Shame on me for daring to choose a path of freedom in the face of tyranny instead of shutting up and being a dutiful slave to women and society. For the ladies – make sure you keep your husbands away from me lest I give them dangerous ideas and beguile them with tales of freedom.
As I walked around Pattaya with a 27-year old 6'2'' tall ladyboy (my height), we attracted a large amount of attention everywhere we went. Good. That is the way it is going to be. Yes I am OK with this. Yes I am holding his / her hand. Yes – I am aware this is a ladyboy and not a woman. Great. This makes me happy. I am proud to be seen with this person and you Russians giving me the dirty looks like you want to kill me, I forgive you and I ask only that you please allow me to walk by in the future without such hatred in your eyes directed towards me and my partner for the night. Perhaps next time I will give you a piece of paper with a hyperlink on it which will take you to a private section of my personal website which has some home video I shot of my fat, irritating, ex girlfriends giving me shit about ridiculous, stupid things. Perhaps then you will understand that these ladyboys are more attractive both inside and out and have better bodies than any western woman I have ever been with back in the West ever in my life. Please forgive me for treading this path.
To think all the fantastic experiences I have had over the past year have been due to ending my engagement with my ex and refusing to marry her. If you ever see me back in a long-term relationship in the West with a western woman you will know that I have really f*cked up bad.
Yes, I can honestly say that I have f*cked better-looking and more spiritually beautiful men. Ha!
Merry Christmas Gentlemen and all the best for 2014!
The Pretender
Stickman's thoughts:
Brilliant! I just wish every submission could be this good.