After a ridiculously long climb, I found this week's featured guru seated on the very top of the mountain, just like in the photo on the brochure.
Poking him gently with my stick, I woke him, so that he could direct me to the nearest nirvana.
Oh wise guy, I have traveled many miles, and have climbed up this mighty mountain today in search of wisdom. Wouldst thou be so kind as to break your vow of silence, and to tell me-- oh guru-- what’s up?
I looked up where he was pointing, but saw nothing.
‘We Are All One?’
Hm. That’s the same hand sign as ‘We Are All One’, isn’t it? Is there some deeper meaning here? Do you mean that we-- being all one-- are truly what’s up?
Well finally! he’s clearing his throat. At last, the wisdom that I have sought will be delivered to me.
Lay some of that spiritual medicine on me, o wise guy! Take me to the next level, for I am ready.
What advice do you offer, o master? How wilt thou enlighten me, and reward my perilous travels here? The day grows long-- speak, and advise me, lest I leave here in a hissy, and find my own way to nirvana by some other wise guy’s council.
He then coughed:
”I don’t give advice, for the wise don’t need it, and fools won’t heed it. Therefore, if you decide to go splashing petulantly through a puddle of foamed farts in a Huff or a Hissy or whatever it is you drive around in, it will be your decision, and not because I advised that you do so.”
I waited, but that was it. I think dude fell asleep. Hell, he lives in a blanket on top of a mountain, he probably sleeps a lot. His words were confusing, like a parable, and their meaning eludes me still. Maybe he was just grumpy because I had interrupted his nap, but I won't be going back.
I give this guru a rating of 4. Terrible location, service was slow, and I felt very little enlightenment or wisdom after visiting him. He'll need to work on his hospitality and his general presence if he expects to get many customers up there.
Now, where did I park that Huff?
artwork above is mine, colored pencil and ball point pen, 2018. The story is fictional, I don't really drive a Huff. In the spirit of oneness and to celebrate the magnificence of our being, upvote this post here and now. For more variety, and I mean something else entirely, click below:
