League Sources has reported that information about a huge rule change was leaked to the Houston Rockets less than 24 hours before they acquired Chris Paul from the Los Angeles Clippers.
My ball! Get your hands off of my ball!
Mr. League Sources believes that the information may have been leaked by Cris Paul himself. As the President of the NBA Players Association, Paul may have had access to the information before anyone else.
When the deal was first announced, many experts thought the Rockets were complete idiots for adding a point guard to a team with James Harden who was second in ball-hoggery only to Russel Westbrook of the OKC Thunder. How would adding one of the top point guards in the NBA to a team with the "turnover" oops I mean "the beard" make any sense whatsoever?
Well until today, it would make absolutely no sense at all. In fact, considering no one is going to beat the Golden State Warriors anyway, it would have seemed like an utter waste of everyone's time to make such a silly move.
It turns out that the Rockets may have just been ahead of the curve. According to League Sources, the NBA is instituting a new rule that will allow a team to play with two basketballs at once. Thank goodness for the Rockets because the use of two basketballs is the only way this transaction makes any sense at all. This way, both Harden and Paul can each dominate a ball.
The two ball thing is cool but those sure don't look like he is dribbling them.
Although it is unclear if any one player can possess both balls at the same time, both Russel Westbrook and James Harden are lobbying hard for the double possession to be included in the new rule. This way, both players can take twice the shots and gather twice the meaningless rebounds.
When the remaining Clippers players were asked to comment on the trade and the pending rule, only DeAndre Jordan responded. He said*
"Well what the hell is this happy horse shit? CP 13 was one of the guys who held me hostage in my own home on the day I tried to sign an $80 million dollar contract with the Dallas Mavericks. Those guys were going to make me a focal point of the team but CP and the other guys begged me to stay. They really stressed the importance of loyalty. WTF!!!!! Now he ditched me and I am stuck on this shit bag team. I could be in Dallas now getting ready to sign a max extension next season. Now I'm screwed. Thanks a lot douchebag!"
Chris Paul was too busy running a camp on dribbling two basketballs to respond.
*No one said this. This is all fake.