There are three types of people in the world.
We've all heard that one before (or some version of it), and I will wager a guess to say that each person has experienced within themselves, and seen in others, all three of these types. There's a funny thing about humans... that thought that our personalities define us, that once we develop from childhood into adulthood, that we "are who we are". I will hazard to disagree with this notion, as I feel that people, through many different channels, are capable of change, even to the point where, over the span of a life, we barely recognize the person we once were.
The subject of this essay has less to do with the kind of "person" we are, and more to do with the way we handle stress in life. Though, as many of us know, we can all be the best kind of person when things are going along swimmingly. It is, of course, when the chips are down that the phrase she/he is showing their true colors is heard. But, are these our true colors? Is it personality? Or are they just patterns of conditioning, and habitual methods of survival?
Do each of us have conditioning and habits that reflect each "archetype"? No one can be The Survivalist all the time, nor can anyone play The Victim forever. Is it situational? Personal? With those questions asked, which one are you, which one am I, during which times, and in which situations do we find ourselves embodying each archetype?
Let's talk about these three "archetypes".
The Victim
In times of struggle, you will find The Victim blaming and finding fault. Sometimes, The Victim will find fault and blame other people, other situations, other decisions, or even random things, like bad traffic, or the general unfairness of the world. But I have also caught The Victim blaming themselves, cursing their own fate, or coming down hard on themselves when things "don't go right". A favorite phrase of The Victim is, "why me?"
Unfortunately, we see that this archetype also struggles with self confidence, self awareness, personal growth, and have a tendency to be the creators of their own misery on a daily basis.
For personalities, mindsets and habits such as these, we see a lot of concurrent black-and-white thinking, and repetitive patterns of unhappiness, victimization, and coming to emotional conclusions of blame and fault, rather than considering responsibility, which requires neither blame nor fault.
The Victim suffers continuously, and often they suffer without help from others, either because they don't accept any tangible help from others, or because other people have given up trying to offer assistance.
The Victim frequently feels isolated, and lonely, and seeks the company of similar victimizing energies.
For The Victim, mindfulness and neuroplasticity practices are really key. Recognizing thought patterns that lend more toward fault and blame, right and wrong. Replacing those patterns with a broadened outlook and more options is usually very helpful. There are ALWAYS more ways to look at any situation, and very few of those options include black-and-white thinking. In fact, practicing this neuroplasticity of always considering more ways of looking at a situation is actually an antidote to black-and-white thinking, as it embodies a very different energy. So much of our narrow thinking patterns start in emotion, and just stay there, never to expand into problem solving, or evolution, or transcendence of thought. And so many of these patterns are rooted in anxiety. Often, if we consider this, and take a breath and a step back from ourselves, with less judgement, we will find that it only takes practice to have an open mind and to expand our consciousness beyond The Victim mentality.
The Survivor
In times of struggle, you will most likely find The Survivor hustling, making the best of a poor situation, or sometimes treading water, trying not to sink, but finding ways to manage until the struggle passes or resolves. The Survivor is always able to get by, but always at a cost, and the cost is usually at the expense of personal health and wellness, and emotional vitality, as well as self awareness. The Survivor is able to set emotions aside during stressful times, and can excel at compartmentalizing. This type is a scrapper, and can be amazingly innovative, often thinking outside of the box to "make ends meet" during difficult times. Often, The Survivor thrives in challenging times, and you may even find them creating challenge in their own lives to practice their own survivor skills. There is often a lot of pride that comes along with embodying The Survivor, but also often a mindset of Lack rather than Abundance. You will hear The Survivor say, "When shit hits the fan, I make it work to get by".
Where The Survivor struggles the most is, strangely enough, when things are going well. Sometimes they take the good times for granted, and become indulgent, further exacerbating that mentality of Lack, and cycling back into survival mode to kick their butts in gear again. Fortunately, The Survivor mentality has a terrific antidote as well, and it resides in Balance and Letting Go of pride and ego. Another great thing for The Survivor is practicing self-care. It is not selfish to practice self-care, quite the opposite. As we practice self-care, we find that we have more energy for those around us, and more energy to be able to manage stress in a positive, self assured, and mindful way.
The Bloomer
There is a very interesting archetype that I like to call The Bloomer, and may either be a subtype of The Survivor, or perhaps an expanded version of that archetype. During times of struggle, The Bloomer absolutely thrives, and often becomes a beacon, a guide, and light to those around them. Personal growth is easy for The Bloomer, especially during times of stress, because they are able to take that energy and transform it into something beautiful. It is a type of "emotional alchemy", as this type will take emotions like a piece of coal and use the stressful situation to pressure it into a valuable diamond, transmuting troublesome situations into blossoms of truth. You see this type continually seeing the good in situations, and using an out-of-the-box approach to constantly come up with new ways of looking at their own feelings and their own stress. There is also the tendency to take responsibility, rather than placing fault or blame.
It all sounds lovely, but believe me, The Bloomer has his or her own struggles.
What happens to The Bloomer when these seeds of growth are in well-nurtured, well-watered soil, rather than covered in tons of asphalt? Good question. We have all seen The Bloomer in complacency, and they are Being, they are Living, but it's a tough place to actively grow. As Ernest Hemingway said, "We are all a little stronger in the broken places", but what happens when we aren't actively breaking? What happens when there is nothing here to fix, and no real reason to grow?
Here is where I am actually looking for some advice, or feedback. There is an arising group of people who embody The Bloomer. They suffer from similar challenges as The Survivor, in that there seems to be a real need for struggle to be present for real enormous growth to happen. But, is that really true?
Do those who grow best in adverse conditions, do those who literally thrive in challenge and pain and change, actually NEED those things to grow?
And if not, how is this type best able to grow in a comfortable world?
This is my question for the Steemit community. I would so much appreciate any insight, as I believe there is a growing group of individuals who choose (consciously or non) to embody The Bloomer archetype. And it is essential that these people are able to grow and thrive outside of stressful situations, otherwise they have a tendency to create them out of thin air, for the sake of growth. And there in lies the challenge.
Thank you for reading, and I very much appreciate the insight you all have. We are a growing family of humanity, and are all here to grow and support one another in this growth, and I look forward to connecting more about how to help our human family grow, inside and out.
Xx Tree of Life
Image Sources:
The Victim - www.medicalxpress.com
The Survivor - www.apocalypsesurvivalist.com
The Bloomer - www.mizuyashi.deviantart.com
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