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All men are different, and every individual man changes over time, which means it’s impossible to make universal generalizations about men. However, if you want to impress them, you need to have some kind of understanding of how they think and behave. This guide is a starting point, and it makes a lot of generalizations. Take them with a grain of salt, and pay attention to the man you’re trying to impress to figure out his specific wants.
Reading this guide, you may find yourself thinking, “Hey, a lot of these points talk about how hard it is to be a man. Well, it’s just as hard, if not harder to be a woman. So shouldn’t men be following the same advice in how they treat women?” The answer to that question is, yes, and women’s issues are just as important as men’s. But this is an essay about how women can impress men. So that’s what it focuses on.
Men and women have slightly different strengths, weaknesses, thought processes, and social expectations. So they have slightly different perspectives on dating, and they approach the topic from different angles. For example, all a woman has to do to get laid is walk into a room full of men, take her shirt off and say, "Who wants to screw me?" Even if you just wear a sexy dress that shows off a tasteful amount of cleavage, you can just walk into a party and stand next to the punch bowl and wait for the most confident single man in the room to approach you. Because women have such a biological advantage over men in the dating scene, a woman who takes advantage of her power and proactively chases men will inevitably labeled a slut (more likely by other jealous women than by condescending men). For that and other social and biological reasons, women tend to be more passive than men in how get dates. They tend to hunt like spiders, setting out tempting bait and luring a man into their lair.
On the other hand, society raises men on love stories that teach them they're supposed to be big, strong, handsome, confident, successful, knights in shining armor who are on a quest to impress the prettiest, sweetest girl in all the land by accomplishing impressive feats. At the same time, evolution has programmed men's brains to hunt like wolves, constantly out on the prowl, tracking down women, cornering them and taking them down.
The best way to catch a wolf isn't with a spider web. When women passively stand around looking pretty, hoping a guy will sweep her off her feet, she makes Mr. Right have to go farther out of his way and take more risks to find and win the girl of his dreams. Why make a crusading wolf's job harder when crusading wolfs are actually pretty simple and straightforward creatures?
Men are trying to hunt you down anyway, and when they finally corner you, they're going to try to impress you with their feats of strength. Instead of making men have to track you down and corner you before they start telling you about their self and trying to show off, you can just go to a place where the kind of men you're interested hang out. Then look for a man who interests you, and introduce yourself to him. Lay the opportunity for him to impress you at his feet on a silver platter.
You don't have to be super witty. You don't have to use pick up lines. That's what he's been trained his whole life to do. Just tell him he seems interesting, and if he'd like to do something with you sometime, the offer is open. Don't drop hints. Don't talk around what you're really trying to say. Don't play mind games, because that's not how men's brains work. If you do that, you'll be speaking in a language he doesn't understand. He thinks and speaks straight forward and with concrete goals in mind. If you're just honest and open with a man, he'll probably be relieved that he doesn't have to jump through hoops and dance like a monkey for you.
If a man recoils from your frankness, he's probably not Mr. Right anyway. The goal in dating isn't to impress every man you meet. The goal is to impress the most compatible man you meet, and Mr. Right will immediately recognize your beauty when you're honest and open with him. Mr. Wrong will tell you that you're flawed and undesirable when you show your true self to him. Don't believe Mr. Wrong when he tells you that. Instead, thank him for letting you know so quickly that chasing after him would be a waste of your time.
Successfully flirting with a guy and scoring a first date is the just the beginning of [the dating process]http://wisesloth.wordpress.com/2011/10/08/stages-of-a-relationship/) though. After that, you're faced with the question of what kind of person you should be in order to keep a man interested and impressed in you. First and foremost you should be yourself. The point of finding Mr. Right is to improve your life. If you abandon all your own hopes, dreams, interests and habits to make someone else happy, you've defeated the purpose of bringing that person into your life.
You can go out of your way to make someone else happy while also making yourself happy. Relationships are a give and take, and they're so rewarding, it's usually a pleasure to give. The question is, what do men want? What makes them happy?
Men typically aren’t looking for a tall, dark and handsome woman to hold him in her strong arms at night and be a successful bread winner who his frenemies will be jealous of. What men are looking for is a woman who will be their caretaker and copilot through their lifelong quest to find themselves and provide for their family. The reason men are looking for that kind of woman, is because that's the kind of woman who compliments the demands society places on men, and evolution has programmed men's brains to understand this even if they don't consciously understand it themselves.
Men and women's entire bodies are filled with subtle differences, which optimize our gender-specific role in reproduction. Everyone’s brain is hardwired with instincts that subconsciously manipulate our decision making process into doing things that will improve our chances of passing our genes on through an ideal mate. We’re not complete automatons, but we’re not completely free or unique either.
We’re all looking for the ideal mate, and even if we don’t have any idea what he or she looks like, the instinctual autopilot ghosts inside our heads do. They’re looking for a mate who can help us and our offspring climb Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
Think of the five stages of the Hierarchy of Needs as five fronts in man’s battle against the world. The more a woman can assist him in each of those battles, the more valuable and thus attractive of a life partner she’ll be… and the more he’ll want to fight for her.
Life is a battle for survival. You can lose every other battle in life and keep going, but not the battle for survival. When you show a man that you can give birth to healthy babies and help him and his offspring survive and thrive, you give him a reason to want you in his life. He might not think in those terms, but the instinctual evolutionary ghosts inside his head do. He might even have inflexible reasons for staying single and childless, but if you send the right signals to the ghosts in his head, they’ll put rose colored glasses over his eyes. He might not change his entire life for you, but a part of him will be attracted to you.
Evolution wants us to copulate with the healthiest mate in order to produce the healthiest offspring. So subconsciously we associate indicators of good health with attractiveness. Women are programmed to like big, strong, healthy men who are well groomed, smell nice and dress for success. Men are programmed to be attracted to women with toned skin, vibrant hair, a breast-hip-waist ratio of about 86-61-86 cm, who smell nice and have a soothing voice. Granted, that’s just the middle of the Bell Curve. There are men with fetishes for every conceivable body type, but statistically speaking, women have the highest chance of impressing the most amount of men by being healthy and fit.
You could argue that men should blindly accept women for who they are regardless of their body type, and there’s truth to that statement. There’s also truth to the statement that everyone should be striving to be healthy for their own sake anyway. It’s also true that an unhealthy lifestyle leads to health problems, and your problems become your family’s problems. If you choose to burden your family with unnecessary problems then you’re a liability to them. Men might not fully realize or care about that, but Mother Nature does, and she generally tries to steer men towards healthier members of the dating pool. That’s not petty. It’s practical. Even if it’s unfair, that’s life.
It’s the least profound thing in the world to say that men want to have sex. 99% of the male population masturbates because 99% of the male population is effectively addicted to sex. 99% of the male population is searching for a woman who wants to have sex with him. So, after looking sexy, the quickest, most effective way a woman can make a man more attracted to her is to have quality sex with him.
This doesn’t mean that men will automatically commit to and love a woman after she’s had sex with him. Nor does it mean that women should rush into having sex or let every guy they sleep with give them “ass to mouth.” Sex is a major life decision for a woman, and the decision belongs to her completely. She doesn’t owe her body to any man for any reason.
I’m just pointing out that sex is as important to men as success is to women, and if you give someone what they want then they’ll want to be around you more often. Men want sexual pleasure. So the more sexual pleasure you give them, the happier they’ll be, the more likely they'll want to be around you and reciprocate the happiness you’ve given them.
The only way for couples to understand exactly what their partner’s sexual expectations are, is for them to communicate directly and openly. The more conversations couples have about their sexual expectations the more successfully they’ll be able to meet them on mutually agreeable terms.