Coming from me this is a big thing. I used to be the classic example of "Damsel in distress".
I didn't have my shit together. I needed people to do things for me, I procrastinated a lot, I cried way too much, I said a lot of things but never really applied them to my life. The outcome was that when I came to Berlin for the first time I was lost. Lost in all the chaos and I didn't have a clue as to how to survive the constant turbulence that wouldn't leave me alone!
Gradually this city and life here changed me into a better version of myself. Following are a few things I learned on this journey:
A. Stand up for yourself
Source: http://marthabeck.com/2015/09/how-to-stand-up-for-yourself/
This is the most important favor that you'll ever do to yourself. Many a times people will take you for granted and this because it's convenient for them. Nobody knows your life story, your circumstances, your environment and how you feel about things. Due to this, unknowingly people can hurt you; but it's your responsibility to stand up for yourself. Whether it's at work or in your personal life. Do not ever give anyone the right to run you over. Know in your heart what's best for you and if somebody tries to take that away from you, then say something! Take a stand! Take charge of your life. This not only saves you a lot of self esteem issues but also earns you a lot of respect. Of course there will be a lot of people who won't like it but people pleasing is not your life's goal. I'm not saying just go and fight over every little thing you deem right. Which brings me to my next point.
B. Know your limitations
By this I mean, to ever get anywhere in life one has to know what they lack, what are their limitations. Face your shortcomings. Do things you are good at, and try to work on your weaknesses. But do not forget it's more important to strengthen your strengths than your weaknesses. Imagine if somebody asked you to prepare a cuisine. It's better to cook something that you are excellent at even if it is something simple instead of taking a freakishly complicated dish and ruining it.
C. Get over yourself
Source: http://10000beds.org/category/get-over-yourself/
One thing I noticed in myself is that I used to whine about things a lot. "Oh my god why is this happening to me, why always me." This is a really shitty thing to do to yourself over longer periods of time. I mean once or twice is okay, but when you keep doing this you convince your brain that something really horrible is happening to you, because yes you can lie to yourself to an extent where you actually start believing it. So stop crying about things and instead of that say to yourself "okay shit is bad but I am my own protector and boss, so it's my responsibility to fix this". Start being honest with yourself. Know thy truth. Be more solution oriented, not cry oriented. People also tend to blame others a lot for their problems. Even if somebody did wrong you, blaming that other person isn't going to help you at all. Focus on how to make it right.
I promise you, do the three above mentioned things and your life will get several notches less annoying. You'll feel happier, more in control of yourself and your life. Of course at times you can cut yourself some slack and just give into it for a moment, but don't make it a habit.
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