You’ve probably already found out that there’s no one key to dating girls, since every girl is different. What impresses one girl may repel another, but that’s just a chance you’ll have to take when you hit the dating scene. Regardless of a girl’s personal preferences, there are some universal rules of dating that will help you land that second date, and maybe even a third. Read on to find out how to make your dating life a success.
Project confidence. One of the most attractive qualities a potential date can have is palpable confidence. Girls will be interested in you if you seem to have a lot going on: you’re involved in activities, you have friends, you speak your opinion, and you have long-term goals.
Confidence can stem from a lot of places. You don’t have to be a basketball star to attract a girl; just get involved in something that shows you at your best. What activity allows you to shine?
There’s a big difference between confidence and arrogance. Confident people are admired by others for their talent, but also their grace and humility. If you’re confident in yourself, you won’t find the need to brag about it.
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Be genuine. Don’t pretend to be someone you aren’t - girls will be able to see right through it. There’s nothing wrong with reading up on a band you know a girl likes so you can have a conversation about it later, but don’t pretend you know how to play the guitar unless you’re prepared to play her a song at a moment’s notice. Be real, and you won’t have to lie.
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Present yourself well. Every girl has different preferences, or “types,” but don’t worry too much about trying to wear all the latest trends. Dress appropriately for the situation - no sleeveless shirts at a martini bar, for example - and don’t overdo it with the cologne. If you show up to a party dressed at your personal best and feeling confident, you’ll act that way - and there’s a good chance the girl you’re trying to impress will forget she even has a type.
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Getting to Know Her on a Deeper Level
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Don’t dwell too much on a girl’s appearance. Everyone likes receiving compliments, especially when they’ve obviously gone out of their way to dress up and look good, but that shouldn’t be the main topic of conversation. Give the girl you’d like to date a chance to be more than the cute dress and heels she’s wearing.
Especially avoid making sexual comments about a girl’s appearance when you’re trying to date her. Stick to tasteful comments about her clothes, hair, or smile.
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Be a sincere conversationalist. Avoid pick up lines, because they don’t sound sincere. When you’re talking to a girl, say something you actually mean. When she responds, don’t just pretend to listen, really listen, and try to move the conversation to a place that feels “real.”
Of course, the conversation should be appropriate for the setting. If you’re in a noisy bar, the girl you’re chatting up might not be in the mood to talk about personal or philosophical subjects. Still, it should be possible to say something meaningful about the music, the crowd, or the feel of the evening that shows her you’re enjoying the moment with her.
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Let her get comfortable. When you’ve just met a girl and you want to ask her on a date, it’s very important that she feels comfortable being herself with you. Enjoy her quirks and unique qualities, and try not to be judgmental.
If you say something critical, even in jest, it could come off the wrong way and make her close up.
Ask a lot of questions and follow up with comments that let her know you’re listening and care about what she’s saying.
Joke around to keep things fun, but avoid making fun of the girl, her friends, her family, or anything else that hurt her feelings this early in the game.
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Being a Good Date
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Put effort into your first date. Take her somewhere special. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but it should be clear you put some thought into it. Share your favorite restaurant with her, or take her to a beautiful scenic spot for a picnic. If you know she likes a particular sports team, buy tickets to a game.
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Don’t get too nervous. Don’t focus too much on the structure of the date. Instead, try to genuinely have a good time getting to know someone you’ve recently met. Think about all you have to learn about her, and all she has to learn about you. If you enjoy her company now, chances are she’s enjoying yours, too.
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Get physical. Whether you place your hand on her back while you’re waiting in line for tickets, hold hands during a movie, or go back to your place after dinner, some kind of physical touch will increase the intimacy you feel with the girl you’re dating. Just make sure it’s all consensual.
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Being Reliable
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Call her when you say you will. If you ended your first date with a promise to call, follow up within the next few days.
If you reflected on the date and realize you’re no longer interested, give her the courtesy of letting her know you don’t think it’s going to work out.
If you want to continue the relationship, don’t play hard to get. Be consistent in your communication.
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Introduce her to your friends. Once you’ve gone on a few dates, a great way to get to know each other better is to introduce the girl you’re interested in to your friends. If they hit it off, you might be encouraged to take the relationship to a deeper level.
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Throw in some surprises. Consistency is important when you’re dating, but you should also throw in some romantic surprises. The surprises will depend on the personality of the girl - maybe she’d love it if you cooked dinner for her, sent her flowers at work, or planned a fun weekend trip. She’ll be impressed by your thoughtfulness if you mix it up sometimes.