We have all heard that two wrongs do not make a right, and I think that's morally right. But when it comes to relationships, especially when it comes to marriage, this application becomes a little bit selective, thanks to social media being biased and handling the truth in the right way. You hear it everywhere, if a man shits, it doesn't mean a woman should shit too.
Those are two different things. Though the social media angle of this is getting funny every day. People believe that if the husband shits, that gives the wife more than enough reason to also shit too.
That's not right. That's terribly wrong. But then comes an uncomfortable pause.
Why is the reverse statement not equally emphasized? Why don't you hear it just as loudly? If a woman shits, it doesn't mean a man should shit too. This gap isn't just linguists, it's not a matter of grammar. It tells us of so many imbalances that exist in this world.
A healthy marriage does not thrive on double standards, it survives on just one single rule. Growth and shared principle. If fidelity is expected from the husband, it is a must on the wife's side too.
It must be expected from both partners. If betrayal is condemned, it must be condemned on whoever is the groom or the bride. It doesn't sideline gender when cheating is concerned.
Marriage is not sustained by one person being better while the other gets room to fail. It is sustained by two individuals choosing consistently to bring their best to the table and contribute to make a better family. When the other responds by doing the same, it doesn't restore balance, it deepens the fracture.
Retaliation in a relationship is often disguised as fairness. You hurt me, I'll hurt you back. But in reality, it's a quiet surrender of value.
It means allowing someone else's wrongdoing to redefine your own character. And over time, that erodes not just the relationship but the individual along with it. There is also a cost that is generational that contributes to this imbalance.
Children don't just see this, they imitate it and pass it on to their own family too. Which becomes a generational cost which people are now referring to everywhere. There are some things that are not that demonic when you look at it deeply.
It's just a pattern that someone started and handed over to the children. And those people too decide to make a worse version of it. And before you know it, after two to three generations, it becomes a generational cost.
Which is not even supposed to be in the first place. Balance then is needed. It's not just about fairness between the two parties, it's about responsibility to the next generation.
So if we are doing something right today, we should consider the next generation whenever we are doing it. It's about teaching through both parties and actions that integrity is not a gender-based thing. It is expected of both genders.
That commitment is more sure. That betrayal, no matter who commits it, is a crime. And it carries the same weight and consequence from whoever does it first.
And it doesn't mean that you have to retaliate the evil. No, that is the wrong way to think. So yes, let's keep saying that two wrongs don't make a right.
And that's correct. But let's also say it completely that no matter the gender, you must not retaliate a wrong thing when it comes to marriage. Because that tends to break things further and not mows it back.
Let's model marriage where both partners are expected to do right. Not because of fear. Not because of control.
But because of shared value. Because the truth is simple. Whatever damage one partner brings into a marriage through betrayal, the other can just as easily bring the same damage.
And if we truly want a stronger home, healthy relationship, better example for our children, then the standard must be clear and consistent. No cheating. And you don't retaliate a cheating.