Did you ever ask yourself how does it feel when you're trapped in the body, and this is not the body you want? Yeah. I didn't. But then a couple of years ago came the news.
My father has 3 sisters. They grow up in a very religious family. My grandmother helped in a church, she was always there, carrying for a church, helped the priest, so she was there every day of the week. She was working in Switzerland for a while, and in the meantime, my aunt cared for a church.
If you're growing up in a Christianity family, means you are praying to one God and you're living the life that dictates very specials rules. Man and women need to be married to have sex, they don't accept any other mix up. They believe in only one God, they follow the rules written in the Bible. This means that they do not accept anything else that is not written in this book and trust the pastor who says meaningless things every Sunday. Why? Because other religions have not developed in our area. All Jews were unfortunately removed from this area in World War II and this means that the Christian faith is most prevalent in European countries. They never got a chance to meet anything else because there was no chance. Respect for their parents was greater than education. Faith has been instilled in their heads since birth.
I'm not saying this is something bad because every child needs to believe in something. Santa Claus, tooth fairy...But this story's are just for kids, and when you grow older they tell you this was all a lie. But you need to still believe in God. Because this man is true. Hmm.
I was in church every Sunday, doing a different activity for a church, singing in a choir. It was fun. Why? We were together, we had fun, and our parents were proud of us.
But we already know back then that this is all just a lie. So with time, every Sunday instead of going to church we sat down somewhere outside in the park and talking and talking. Our parents thought we were in the church so no hard feelings for them. But sometimes I needed to go with my parents. Listening to the priest made me so sad. How can you put this in a children's head? Before turning 12, I never listen to what were they talking about. We were singing and having fun with friends. Prayers were put in our heads so we didn't understand the exact meaning of those words.
But with time came a revelation. Are we crazy? Little man build the world in 7 days? I'm not worthy to come to you? What?
It was so hard to explain to my parents that this is all a lie and when turning 14, I'm never going back to church. No matter what. But the reaction of my parents was surprising. They agreed. Oh this happiness in me was just unexplainable. I'm free of brainwashing.
Just to understand. I respect people with faith, we need that, no matter what you believe. There is an energy that is around us, but not a guy with a long white beard. I'm not accepting church and what they teach. Just that.
I never understood my father. But, after some time I started to understand. With stuff going back at home, this was an escape from this. Not just for him, but also for me.
In my earliest post, I already talked about my relationship with my father, and that we didn't talk, only formal stuff. But a few years ago he surprised me. After drinking all day at our family gathering we started to talk. A lot. Whole day and night. He told me about his life and why he pushed me so hard, we talked about the church and faith. He still believes that there is something outside, but he realized that the church is a big lie. They take our money, they live on our cost, they have lovers and big houses with Audi outside. Grandmothers going to church every day and giving money to them, regardless that they don't have money for themselves. Just to hear the words - you are now worthy to come in heaven. This is crazy.
My grandmother never learned that we didn't go to church anymore because she was so religious and we didn't want to hurt her. Her last words to me made me cry so much. Tina, you must believe. She took my hand and squished. That was the last time I saw her. After 3 days she died. And just because of her, I was going to church for her funeral. I was crying but at the same time listening to the words of the priests. I understand them a lot better now. I was devastated. You're brainwashing our minds. And they believe you.
Christianity was built on a lie.
Maybe Jesus really existed but he didn't die and wake up 3 days later. In memory of my grandmother, I started to learn about Christianity and what's behind that. There was a man, but he was married and they had a kid - Sarah.
But in those time woman was nothing. Only for cooking and giving birth. They deleted all the data about his wife and made him a prophet, a man who will save the world from ruin. Mary Magdalene is mentioned in the Old Testament, but she was deleted in the New Testament. A woman, therefore the daughter of Jesus, cannot be a prophet and must not lead a church. Only men can do that. So they erased her. I can't say if this is true, because the church still hides all the important information from those times, but if it is true it means that there are still descendants of Jesus. But these are only speculations.
What do I mean by that? Because when we were growing up, we believed that priests never married and that this was the case from the very beginning. Which, of course, is a lie. For the first 1000 years after Christ, marriages were allowed for priests.
From hatred to sexuality, especially among popes, celibacy as we know it today has taken hold. In 1018, Pope Benedict VII. ordered that from then on the children of the priests would be oppressed by the Church and that they would never be able to be set free again. The wives of priests were gradually counted as concubines. Benedict VIII declared that men who had already received priestly ordination were no longer allowed to marry. A decisive step in the establishment of celibacy was made by Innocent II. in 1139, when they not only banned the priestly law but also officially declared that after consecration, marriages were invalid. The ban on the marriage of priests was confirmed in another direction: from then on, already married men may not be ordained.
And how many people died because they believed in something else or didn't live by their rules? This number is unknown. We know for sure how many died in 2 WW. But before and after that? And what about pedophilia? If I start writing about this topic I will never finish this article.
So not everyone can go to church and be saved from sin. Just in case you leave the old life behind and go to the convent. If you live life according to their commandments, you go to heaven, and if you sin, you go to hell. Only if you're a priest, then can you do anything and no matter what, you will still go to haven. Interesting. God supposedly accepts all people. The stories don't quite match, but people still believe that God helps them in difficult times. And I hope he will if they already believe so strongly in a gentleman with a long white beard.
So many religions, so many different theories, and unknown things...We need to learn so much more. And we will. With time. They say that truth is out there. Maybe it is. Let see what the future brings to us.
Why write about this topic? You will learn about this in my next article, because this one is to long š
I want there to be a place in the world where people can engage in one anotherās differences in a way that is redemptive, full of hope and possibility. Not this āIn order to love you, I must make you something elseā. Thatās what domination is all about, that in order to be close to you, I must possess you, remake and recast you. - Bell Hooks
Guys, thanks for reading and till next time š
