one of my favorite old photos. me on the subway, washington dc, contemplating a stick. meditation? wizardry?
I've decided to try slogging. I doubt this will be a daily endeavor. but maybe once a week might not be too bad.
Slogging is my version of blogging - the steemit weblog. i might have some phlogging (photos and philosophy), plogging ( interesting posts and poems that inspire me) and maybe some flogging (foooooood!!! and funnies) one day i may even get to glogging (gif creation and drinking?) and vlogging (videos) but thats a huge learning curve to conquer. here we go...
I took a percocet last night because I felt like I hadn't slept in days. anxiety insomnia emotions. when I awoke, I felt better rested and jumped onto steemit to see the latest. todays slog will be about the strange and inspiring things i followed as tangents of a post or emotion.
first I came upon diebitch's comedy post, How to help prevent climate change. My percocet induced sleep thoughts pondered the inherent dichotomies of tricyles, non movement, recycled thoughts and garbage. my comment? "conserving energy and tricycle riding are like opposing fingers opening a bottle of percocet so i can recycle my brain..."
ya, it made sense at the time. moving on.
I then revisited comments about my last post and celebrated dunstuff's success with his post about depression, Exposing my vulnerabilities. This is a topic that's coming up in a lot of posts I see; how we treat people with metal illnesses and emotional disorders.
A couple months back, my niece was suicidal because her medication and diagnosis was not monitored carefully enough. I've also lost an uncle and a good friend to suicide from depression.
My cousin died today. We weren't close, and he was sick for quite a long time - alcoholic with mental health issues. For so long he didn't have the help he needed, because he hid his drinking and mental issues, and his family lived far away.
Almost five years ago, when I first moved to CO, he fell drunk off a balcony and somehow survived. I spent a few months assessing his health after the accident. It was apparent to me that he was the victim of "friends" who stole his money and used his house as a drug den. Eventually he was removed from his home by his family, but the damage was done.
Some people can recover from emotional issues and succeed, but many others cannot. There isn't much sensitivity for anyone struggling, and misdiagnosis is a frequent issue that might take years to correct.
I am inspired by 
I've been hanging out in the Helpie server while I take a break/separation from PAL. The people there are mellow and sweet and a balm to my spirit. I've been listening to soundcloud to absorb the music of 
Also, check out who im following on soundcloud, and what I listen to when I'm not listening to our talented Steemit musicians. tormoozik
And, I made silly names for yidneth, carrieallen, and zipporah... there's a singing bunny in this vid!
Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah, courtesy of YoutubeMy mind has been dwelling a lot on my reasons for detaching from PAL. While I won't enumerate them here, I'd like to clarify what occurred in my mind and apologize to anyone who witnessed my meltdown a few weeks ago on 
Having struggled for many weeks with my own depression and an inability to effectively communicate, I stepped down from helping the mods at PAL, after being triggered yet again. I was irrational and speaking my truth at that moment.
For the record, I do not think the PAL mods were abusive, and I would like to apologize to 
At the time, I felt that there was nothing I could do to overcome the baggage and issues I created, and the only way I could resolve the situation was to self-sabotage in order to remove myself and give everyone the distance that was required. Mission accomplished - I did a bang up job.
I fully support PAL - the mission, the mods, and all the people there. I just can't be the person that they want me to be.
So yeah, that emotional journey has taken me here, where I struggle for the reason I remain at Steemit, believing in the community and purpose. Today I found so many posts that are all worth reading. Here are a few:
I hang out in da Sneks server, You Got Snekked, because 
I could drop names all night, but best I save some for another day. Thanks for checking out my post, and if you've gotten this far, for reading the whole thing! Before you leave a comment, check out this last bit of advice from the supreme jedi-ninja-warrior
p.s. all photos in this post are property of 