Ausbuttspank was furious, who was this female who had appeared.....?
As Ausbuttspank stood dumbfounded Lord Percival saw his chance to escape, fortunately in the confusion the ropes tethering the legendary lothario had been burned so he managed to get up and run to the door where the mysterious 'Dr' was standing.
"Quick My Lord we must make our escape" the mystery woman said.
"You cut that a bit fine, that bloody weirdo was about to shove that hot poker where the sun don't shine." Lord Percival complained.
"Move! Our transportation awaits," she shouted.
As they burst through the door they were confronted by two strangers on the other side.
"G'day Lord Percival we meet at last, I'm the Squire and this is Sir Scooterless, we are here to join forces with youse as instructed by Sir Knight" said the pungent stranger.
"Terrific, that's all I need bloody Criminalian cohorts, listen follow me I've got an insane Cardinal chasing me with a red hot poker destined for my third eye!" Lord Percival quickly explained.
"Oh Bugger, Ausbuttspank is here!? squealed Sir Scooterless.
"Yes, so stop bloody talking and follow me" interjected the Dr.
The four of them ran into a thicket and through into a clearing where the Dr had said the transport would be. However there was nothing except what looked like tiny dark blue house with the word 'POLICE BOX' written on it.
"Get in." said the Dr.
"Get in what you daft wench?" replied an increasingly confused Lord Percival.
"Just go through the door, all of you and quick." she continued.
"We'll never fit, and what about Tremendhorse? said Lord Percival.
"Just DO IT!" she shouted. "We're running out of time."
"I say, how dare you speak to me like that!" was the last thing Lord Percival said before the Dr slapped him across the chops. "GET........IN."
As they stepped in the box the 3 men realised why the Dr had been so vociferous in her insistence that it would be big enough.......it was massive. As they walked through it opened up into a giant room with all manner of machines the men had never seen.
"What is this place? said Lord Percival.
"It's a TARDIS." said the Dr.
"A what?" the three said in unison.
"It means Time and Relative Dimension in Space." she explained.
The three men just stood there looking confused saying nothing.
"It's a magic box." she said.
"Aha. was the trio's reply.
A noise they had never heard before started as the Dr twiddled knobs and pulled levers, all of a sudden they felt the strangest feeling as if they were being lifted off the ground.
"Where do we need to go and when? asked the Dr.
"Err....Mirkwood. said Sir Scooterless.
"Ok, when did we need to get there?
"Um, err...... yesterday." said a very confused Lord Percival.
"Mirkwood yesterday it is then." she said. "Hold on to your codpieces men this might get rough."
The Magic Box took off.......
Once they were in flight the Dr took Lord Percival to one side.
"I'm so sorry I hit you my Lord, is there anything I can do to make to you?"
Lord Percival smiled a devilish smile.
"Well then, I'm sure I can think of something." he replied.
"I'll bet you can you naughty boy. But first we need to get you tended to, you're bleeding where I slapped you."
She left the room and returned a couple of minutes later.
"My Lord, meet TimeTravel Nurse." she smiled. "She and I and going to make things all better."
"Take me to the treatment room ladies......." he continued. "How long with the journey take? "
"About 4 hours my Lord" the Dr and nurse medical team replied.
"Oh alright then, we'd best get a move on that's not much time."
Meanwhile back at the home of Bilbo Baggins, Ausbuttspank was livid.
"You let him escape you snivelling weasel, when I paid you in sexual favours to help me I expected help. Get out here so I can dispense the Hot Poker of Justice on your wretched backside."
The traitorous weasel stepped out of the shadows.
How could Sir Muxxy betray his old friend?
Will Cardinal Ausbuttspank ruin Sir Muxxy for number two's forever?
Aren't you happy Lord Percival made up for last episodes lack of girly action with a three way?
Be sure to return for more Medieval raunchiness and to find out if Lord Percival will ever follow the script in the next exciting episode of STEEMLORDS.
I AM LORD PERCIVAL THE MAGNIFICENT!
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