I have SO many things on my mind of late, I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed with everything going round and round in my head. Needing to move, still haven't found a place, deciding to sell my truck, as it is preventing me from being able to move to other places. Needing to clean up the land and figure put what to do with the things I wish to hold on to.
(Not to mention the C Word, that is affecting all of our lives and changing the way in which we live!)
My truck has been sitting here on this land for 6 years now and the last time I started it was almost 3 years ago.( I know, I should have known better, but I just, had so much going on in my life, that it took a back sit.) Since then the batteries have died, they no longer hold a charge, so now I have to think about replacing them, which will cost around 500 euros, money I do not have.
(But I am putting it out there now, so I am opening myself up to receive it, the power of manifestation and all!)
Yesterday I spend a few hours treating the wood on the outside and I noticed some areas that need some work. Just another thing to do, another expense. I have loved living in this truck, but it is quite high maintenance. Especially as it is fully exposed to all the elements and the sun is really harsh here.
Even so, my home is a Mercedes and they are known, for having excellent engines, so I am sure it won't take a lot to start her. I envisage having to change the oil and diesel and clean the filters, some TLC really.
She is two years older than me and before we bought her, she had been sitting around for a while, as the couple who had her, split and the woman just didn't know what to do with her. It is way too big, for just one person.
On top of all of that, I don't even have the license to drive her. (I don't have any license to be honest, but that has not stopped me driving and owning a vehicle in the past, with just a learner's permit.)
When we move from this land, I really want a new start with my girls and it would be great, to so with a Van/truck that has no ties to my ex. It's just a constant reminder of what happened between us and I really, really want to leave all of that behind.
It will also make it a lot easier for me to find somewhere, because she does take up a lot of space, don't get me wrong, I have always enjoyed having so much room . I remember when we went to view her and my girls they spend ages, just running up and down inside, the full length of her. She was completely empty, when we got her.
At the time we had been traveling around in a Renault Master,(which you can see above, how we all fitted in there, well when there is a will, there's a way lol) so the truck was a palace compared to that. It didn't take us long to fill her though. That is the case with any space that you have, you always manage to fill it up with stuff.
I have spend the last 2 weeks sorting through all of our stuff and putting what we no longer need at the boat. It feels really good to let go of stuff, but I do think I need to be more strict, because when I look around inside, I still see way too much stuff. But we are four beings after all.
A week ago, I got invited to meet someone who had recently purchased some land and wanted to share it with some other people. He was really friendly and he had some great plans for the land, which at the moment is bare, but he wanted to plant trees on it and create a huge communal garden.
The meeting went well, but after further conversation, he expressed a little concern about how he might react to having others live near him. He wants things fairly chill and I suddenly had alarm bells ringing in my head.
I love my space also, but I also want my children to have the freedom to express themselves, which they do here, which they do a lot through singing. I really do not want to live in a place where I have to tell my girls to be quiet, so I explained that although he was willing to try it out, I felt that perhaps we were not the best match for what he wanted and vice versa.