utilizing,
our fears,
sneaking,
unearthing,
the highest score
seeking to create
more and more,
head hunt
searching,
beneath the many layers,
hiding
behind our shadows,
masks that cover our potential
our highs and lows.
Emotions frozen in time,
side by side
with our suffering
comes our denial,
lost
within our desires
seeking tranquility
chaining ourselves to our beliefs,
exposing
our fragility.
glimmers of madness,
shine through,
letting go of control,
creating anew.
These Days
I caught a stomach bug. The first 24 hrs were pretty full on. Projectile vomiting and diarrhea. It was not pretty. Then there was the fever in 37 degrees Celsius heat. Madness touched me in those moments, drifting in and out. Feeling very fragmented, sailing on very feckin choppy water. It was almost too much to bear at times. There is no escaping the heat, I didn't have the strength to get to water. My girls kept my spray bottle filled, which brought some solace, but it was pretty intense.
After that, the next day (today), I was wiped out. Having emptied everything that was in my system. No vomiting at least.But I was exhausted, I tried to eat, but my body didn't want it. So I kept myself hydrated, the sun still blaring outside. Outside, where I needed to go, to water the land I take care of. It was not easy, I brought my eldest daughter with me, so she could help. Which did help, but I was so wiped out after.
So I rested when I got home. I had an hour of peace in the truck as all of my girls were out. Then I put on some music and the poem up above came to me.
To be honest I'm writing this, with the sweat pouring down me, it's 10:45P.M and although it has cooled down, I feel like I am in a sauna. Time to sign off I think, before I drown my laptop. But I am healing. My body giving me no choice with this detox.
