I don't know about anyone else, but this has been one hell of a year for me. But I think I said the same about last year and the four years, previous to that. This year has been super busy, I've been working my ass off, for want of a better word. Which of course is great, cos it means I have work, which is not always easy to get around these parts, so i have been feeling very grateful about that.
I couldn't possibly take on anymore work. Which is not something I would have been able to say two or three years back, so life has been really good in that regard. But it has left me with less time at home, with my girls and to deal with the day to day chores. As a result, I have had to lend on my daughters to help out more. Which with two teenagers, has not always been easy. I honestly feel like a broken record most days, but we have been managing. Just about.
This was also the year, when my home (our housetruck) was no longer waterproof. Something I wrote about earlier in the year, mostly to get some advice on what to do. In the end, I hang my head and say i done nothing. Mostly because I was already feeling overwhelmed and then summer arrived and it didn't seem too urgent as I knew it would not be raining. But that is exactly when I should have done something. But in reality it fell to the end of my To Do List.
Then suddenly summer was over and I found myself in winter, which has been the wettest in recent years. Which is a big hooray for the land, for the trees and plants, but no so much for my truck, which is now damp and mouldy. Not really the living environment that I want for my girls or myself for that matter. I have been trying to put some money aside to save up for a solution. Which in the end I decided would be another living space.
I have had my truck for over 11 years now and it has served us well, but me and my girls are ready for something else. Renting is too expensive here, even with me working so much. My one income is just not enough. My savings just were not adding up enough, because they is always something that needed the extra funds I was trying to set aside. In the end, I kind of had a break down, during one of my sister circles. We always sit together and listen to each other, as we share what has been happening in our lives.
By the time it came to me, I was feeling pretty overwhelmed. I didn't want to bother anyone with how I was really feeling, while at the same time, I just wanted to offload, some of the weight I had been carrying. I took a deep breathe and said, " Well to be honest, I feel like I'm about to have a breakdown" and then I did, telling everyone how I haven't been sleeping, how I have been feeling stretched beyond belief and had no idea how I was functioning, as I felt like the walking dead.
My friends/sisters listened, then they jumped into action. They set up a Go Fund Me, for me and also decided to hold a little festival in the New Year, to also help raise funds for me. This festival will hopefully happen every year, as a way to help other people who may find themselves struggling within the community. Something that I think is a wonderful idea.
I can't say that I am feeling very comfortable with all the attention on me, but I am so grateful for the community around me and how they have really stepped up for me in my hour of need. I am going to share the details here , just in case anyone here wants to contribute towards me getting a caravan. My name is not on the fundraiser, as I don't really want to draw attention to myself or my girls. Those who know me on here, will understand why that is so.
