One thing you need to know is that you still have your life to live irrespective of your father's death. So try as much as you can to please come back on board. It is important that every one of us ... acknowledge that he ... does not comprehend all those things which are necessary to be known; and that therefore progress is to be made to the very end of life: for this is our wisdom, to be learners to the end. Please do not allow his death to weigh you down or overstress you. All will be well in Jesus name. Please take heart for you have been a good friend. Shalom