Is fear taught?
I know as humans that we are all prone to fear. I also know that a lot of people have fears that don't make sense to anyone else or necessarily have an origin. It just depends on the person. So how many of our fears are truly ours, and how many have we learned from someone else?
one of the aliens from The Great Movie Ride - source
My two-year-old was with me on The Great Movie Movie Ride at Disney World. There were some pretty creepy looking aliens at one point, which he's never really been exposed to before. Instead of telling him to close his eyes or implying that they were "scary," my husband and I said things like, "wow! That's a cool alien!" And, "do you think he looks cool?" And he was perfectly fine. He showed zero concern or fear about something that may be scary for kiddos.
Recently, my son was aware of loud thunder for the first time. He asked me what it was and he acted really nervous about it. I told him, completely calmly and reassuringly with no concern in my voice, that it was a thunderstorm and that the sky sometimes made loud cracking noises when that happens. It didn't seem to allay his nervousness at all. He covered his ears and ran around every time there was a clap of thunder.
No one told him to be afraid of the storm, and no one acted alarmed or afraid of it for him to pick up on, so I think he was feeling the fear of the unknown. He didn't know what it was, he couldn't make it stop, I couldn't stop it for him, and he didn't like it. So he was scared of it.
With the aliens on the Disney World ride, no one told him to be afraid or acted scared, so he wasn't afraid. Could he have been scared without any influence like he was with the thunder? Maybe. But I know he would have been scared had I acted scared or told him it was scary.
So what I am learning is that there is no reason to instill fears unnecessarily.
Obviously I don't want him to burn himself, so I show alarm around fires and things that are hot. And I don't want him to get hit by a car, so I tell him with heavy concern in my tone to hold my hand and look both ways when crossing the street.
But I don't tell him needles are scary, even though I am petrified of them, and I don't tell him that zombies and skeletons are creepy even though I know other kids are scared of them. Because there's no reason for him to learn fears from me.
I know he will have fears, and I know that sometimes I fail and act afraid and he may be afraid because of it (like with bugs and spiders, eww), but I am going to try my hardest.
I want him to be brave and to have as few fears as possible. I don't want to influence his fear!
Be brave, fellow Steemians! And teach those close to you to be brave!
Blessings!