What is True Love? 💕 Journey from Fear to Love
When I was a teenager I had didn’t have much of a concept of Love. My world-view was more about competition, and I was mostly losing that competition. I was more vulnerable than others and hadn’t found my True Expression. Therefore I had low self-esteem. Even though I wasn’t aware of it, I was always looking for Love. But I was looking through the lens of an insecure Ego, which creates a fearful experience.
In my twenties I became a spiritual seeker. I started to practice yoga and meditation. Through this self discovery process I started to feel more love in myself. Often this Love was also directed towards others: my spiritual teacher or girls. It was attached Love in many ways, and this was difficult for me emotionally.
It was especially difficult for me to express my love towards someone. I felt terribly blocked in this process. The difficulty was that I had to express it in order to release the attachments I had. As a result, often a lot of fear would build up until I came to a point where I couldn’t hold back my expression anymore. This was very uncomfortable for both parties.
I always did express myself eventually (in words), even if it took a long time. I see this as an example of how Love can help to surpass limiting beliefs and fears. The Love can create an Expansion towards new possibilities. Even though I had fearful emotions, I expressed myself because the Power of Love was greater. Even though this expression often didn’t lead to the desired result, it greatly helped me to go beyond my boundaries and my blocks.
Expanding is the first step in The Basic Rhythm of Verbal Dancing, my method which I would like to refer to. During and after these processes I was able to sit with my emotions, to feel them. This is the second step of Breathing and feeling emotions. I was able to do this in the process, I could embrace my Emotions. At times this was very uncomfortable because old trauma’s came up in the process. Eventually, after many years, I was able to experience the third step of Landing more. For me, this meant more confidence.
I feel that the essence of Love unfolds when we let go of our ideas of Love. Similar to my experience, many experience a mixture of attachment and Love. Attachment is the need to hold on to someone emotionally. Instead of unconditional love, you want something from the other person.
My opinion and experience is that it’s very difficult to experience unattached and unconditional love without going through a phase of experimentation. I had to fall in Love many times before the attachment started to lessen. These experiences were valuable to me, they were a learning phase.
There is another factor in play here as well, but it requires a possible stretch in your belief system to grasp it. Some people you meet and it’s like you’ve known them for many years. There is an invisible and unexplainable deep bond between you and them. If you can open your mind to the possibility that this isn’t your first incarnation on earth, they could have been your partner, parent, child or friend in a different lifetime.
A pre-existing bond that you have with a lover can also be deeply attached. In these cases it can be really easy to fall in Love but really difficult to leave the relationship. You can feel a deep motivation to give to the other without receiving anything in return. However, what feels like love at the time can also be deeply attached.
Some would say that True Love is Unconditional Love. To me this is like a Yes or No answer, either it’s Conditional or Unconditional. Instead, I would like to state that in True Love, you keep opening up to the flow of the Basic Rhythm to go beyond your limitations and conditioning. So rather than a static state, an attainment of unconditional love, True Love is the ability to be in the Flow of Love. Let it take you beyond your limitations to continually break away the conditioning that limits Love.
Much Love and Light,
Michiel Kroon