if you have something worth fighting for, then fight for it.
Most times we stumble into relationships and before we know it we are doing so well, getting so comfortable, having goals and just enjoying all of the amazingness. Deep down we really want it to stay like that or even get better but sometimes we happen, yes not shit but we, so sometimes we happen and gradually allow the amazingness slip away till its all gone, then we get overwhelmed by sadness, loneliness, nostalgia and end up being an emotional wreck.
We have had our shares of relationship failures and here's mine......
how we met
I left the house that morning with nothing more than academic expectations. It was my first week in the University and i was nervous and at the same time excited, i couldn't wait to round off with the freshmen screening exercise and begin lectures fully.
I was with my cousin and all the while he was gisting me about a girl he had been chatting with on Facebook who he was going to meet for the first time.
Isn't it too early for you to be meeting facebook friends, get serious with you life cuz! so i thought, but i kept an open mind and decided to go alone with me.
A few minutes later, there she was, bouncing towards us, as dark as my self and also on a low cut hairstyle just like me. Wow! My exact look alike only that i was taller and slimmer, my cousin couldn't belive his eyes. We exchanged pleasantries, contacts and that was how it all began.....
US and WE
In less than no time she became my pain in the neck, my friend, my sister, my gist partner, my planning partner and almost my everything.
Our friendship grew, i got comfortable with her so bad that i let her into my deepest secrets and she held them well. We were called fire and water because of our contrasting personalities, i was calmer, more reserved, more careful while she was hot headed, all out there and just yuppy. She'd always pick up fights for me or deal with anyone that messed me up. I on the other hand could successfully calm her down and make things cool, we were just perfect and compatible. The friendship then extended to our families and it was all shades of amazing....
we started loosing ropes
Just like everything good would attract the eyes of well wishers, they'll also attract the bad belles....
What we had was indeed beautiful and as such people started coming in to be the 3rd and 4th party, and the time we would have spent together, we spent with other people but it was more on her side.
I felt bad about it not because there was another girl in the background but because this other girl seemed to be more like her and definitely like minds would always pull more strings.
Apart from that, she had trust issues and bottled up a lot instead of letting it out or talking about it, this created a dent in the friendship and when the pressure hit us hard, boom! I was the sorry victim.
One evening, after a long week of not having her around with the hope of catching up as usual, our friendship got the greatest hit! She accused me of something i didn't do and would never have done and i couldn't believe that my friend of 4 years didn't trust me enough to know what i was incapable of. I was hurt, i couldn't hold back and then came up the 5minutes heated argument that sent a friendship of 4 years down the drain whoooosh
then silence
We didn't talk things through and days turned into months and it's been a year now.
It wasn't long before the well wishers noticed that the mighty had fallen, our mutual friends did all they could to save our friendship but we turned them down.
She was extremely stubborn, even though i was the one with the softer heart i still refused to make the move.
I was hurt and she was wrong, the one with the grosser offense, it was her cue not mine besides i was already being replaced, I'll move on too.
too late?
Three months down the line, her sisters heard about it, called for my own side of the story after which i was beckoned to make the move.
I still didn't agree to that judgement.
It took another one week, serious guts and a painful swallowing of my pride to finally make the move.
I left a note on her bed apologizing for what i didn't do wrong but i didn't get a positive response, three days later, i went to her room, asked if she saw the note, she did. I apologized again and requested that we talked.
She said she was busy and she was going to call me when she was done. For a moment there, i thought things would be better because we laughed.
She never called, before i knew what happened she had traveled, she changed her phone number, deleted me from social media.
I was hurt all over again.
regrets
It's been a year now and i miss the friendship.
- cherish your relationships and value what you have.
- if you think it's worth fighting for, fight for it
- Never allow your insecurities overwhelm you till it affects your friendship
- when people care about you even though they are different from you and have different belief systems, don't throw them away....