Last night on my way home, I felt so uncool. I didn’t know what it was at first, I just felt goofy and uncomfortable which didn’t make any sense because there was no immediate reason to feel that way. I no longer feel the need for others approval but sometimes I just feel unsatisfied with the vibe I’m giving off.
I thought about it and realized that all the different stimuli had been sticking to me and that my thoughts were all over the place. I was calm, but I had all kinds of different experiences and people who had left some impression on me during the day, and the residue had built up until it was hard to know how I really felt.
So I put on some music and it all washed away and I was able to reorganize my thoughts. I found a rhythm that worked. It didn’t matter the song as long as it was something I could enjoy, the energy from one song is much easier to clean out than a whole day or a whole week of experiences.
I once again realized the power of music as a tuning for tuning your instrument. It gives you a D or an E, and you don’t have to keep playing a D or an E. It just helps you to make sure that all your strings are ringing in tune with each other.
As someone who writes their own songs and doesn’t like to be too heavily influenced by the work of others, I find myself listening to music less and less. It doesn’t help that my tastes have, for the most part, become so resistant to pop sounds and yet still very best-oriented. I don’t like to get stuck in genre and I want something experimental but pleasant most of the time. I can only listen to OOIOO, Dan Deacon, and certain friends music so many times. Feel free to leave me some recommendations based on this paragraph ;-)
In any case, I can understand now why music is so important to people, even those who barely know anything about it or anything about the artists they are listening to. I suppose some people don’t know what tuning they are in, but it still feels good to be tuned in harmony with yourself, even if it isn’t the most beautiful tuning. I need to remember to tune myself every once in a while too!