I was pondering this question today.... For most of my life I have allowed myself to be directed by fear;
- fear of failure
- fear of what others will say
- fear of looking silly
All of these points are me relinquishing my power and making assumptions. So within this my god has been fear. Fear does not actually exist until you create it, this is not the kind of fear that is real, in that when ones life is actually in danger. The kind of fear I am looking at here is the kind that is self created. How did this come about, how did I program myself as fear?
I watched today on the bus on the way home from work, a mother scolding her child for expressing herself, she was very young and has just started to find her voice, she wasn't loud particularly, but the mother was worried that it would cause a problem for others. This is just a very simple example how fear starts. I remember being told by my mother to be quiet, and that my voice was not required. I can't blame my parents completely, they are a product of their own parents. The mother shoved her phone into her daughters face to keep her occupied, just incase she started to cause a fuss on the packed bus. I know it is hard to know what to do for the best, but if this mother could skip ahead 20 years she would see the damage that is being done, through this programming of worrying about how others see you or what they think.
I know this, I have walked this point and I have been working on correcting it.
I discovered this within myself when I started to go into blame towards my mother primarily, and became resentful towards her and then started to feel guilty for feeling this way. There is such a massive snow ball effect of how a simple act towards a child, especially if it is continually practiced as a form of habitual behavior will resonate for the rest of the child's and your life. We don't think it matters when we scold our children or disregard them out of hand, and it we then bury the guilt and shame in that we think we are 'bad parents' we know within ourselves what is good for us and others, if we truly listen to ourselves and become self honest. This is not a post to draw on the so called bad behavior we inflict on each other, but to draw our attention and awareness to it so that we can change the patterns and create a more tolerant society. But it starts with self, the best thing that could possibly happen here is if we see through the behavior, as I did with the help of my friends, and into the reasons behind it, and then work to take responsibility for our actions and how we experienced myself.
The two key points here in becoming the god of self is to:
- Take Responsibility
- Forgive
Don't waste time dwelling on the past - We cannot turn the clock back and change what we have done, but we can take responsibility for it and accept it and change it.
When we start to see that we are worthy, we will start to consider others more. I see so much of what goes on in this world driven by fear.
I realised/saw and understood that when I started to drop the regret with forgiveness and value myself more as my own god of creation I started to see others in the same way and the potential therein, and within this I don't need to diminish them to make myself feel better.
Just something to ponder on....for those interested assistance can be found here www/desteni.org