Today we see some persons smiling and conclude that all is well, but in reality, that might just be a lid to just cover the extreme sadness and anxiousness that is initiated by an endless string of thoughts of "what ifs" and "only if I knew". People get depressed after different circumstances they passed. Some of them are strong enough to overcome it, some struggling to live with it, some others are even going mad because of it, and the fact that some smile so graciously even puts them in a more vulnerable position. Today I would be sharing my experience on anxiety.
My experience
About a 3months ago, I was terribly sick. I contracted scabies from my school hostel. And I was down with the itching and pains from cutting myself when I scratch the itch. At first I did not realise that it was scabies, and so I started searching online using the symptoms as key words. So I got many disorders that have similar features. And all of them where related to persons living with HIV (Human Immune Virus). That was how it started. It would shock you to know that the more I searched, the more it was looking like I was having HIV.
The next step I took was to read more about HIV. I read and read. When I read about the enlarged lymph node symptom, I sincerely started having swollen nodes. When I read about fevers and night sweats, I battled it. I would wake up almost every 10mins at night to see if I am sweating. I had headaches every time I thought of headaches. I lost weight and lost appetite. It was as if any symptom I read about, I'll start having it
In the end, I finally went to take a test and it was negative. I did again the following week in another health center and it was same thing. The next week I did again in the general hospital in my area. It was as if I was even expecting a positive. That period of my life was just so dark. I lost all hope in myself. I was so close to ending my goals. I didn't see any future again. I was depressed.
Now how did I bounce back. First and foremost, I'll advice that everyone has a friend that you can tell most things to. As a guy, I prefer the opposite gender. An opposite sex is more prone to showcase a sense of feeling easier and better and far less weirder than a same sex person( it is an opinion subjective to disagreement, choice, criticism and sexuality). Well my best friend was always in touch and she was a miracle worker for me at that time. As much as she tried to make me see that I cant just get HIV out of nothing, she made me know that even if i did get it, that I'll still have her and many other persons that loved me. There she said it. A depressed person does not really want to hear that he's anxious for no reason. Those with health anxiety, are more in their thoughts about how life would turn out if they really have that particular disease and not thinking about the disease itself. With time, and help from my dearest Friend Juanita and other persons too, I finally gave up those thoughts. And I bounced back and my scabies was treated.
What did I do wrong?
My anxiety was all initiated by my curiosity. No one should ever search his or her symptoms online when you have very serious problems. Better off, go to the hospital and get checked up. There are many diseases with similar symptoms out there and only medical practitioners are trained to discern your problems from your symptoms. So think twice before you ask google health questions. The truth is that when you are overly anxious, your immune system begins to crumble and that leads to micro organisms normally within your body taking advantage and infecting you. Also if you pay too much attention to a particular symptom, your body would psychologically manifest these symptoms even physically.
Source
Remember, concern for your health is blissful, but overly showing concern would drain you off peace of mind trust me. Thank you and God bless.