Ah, the top ten list. Bastion of the blog, insidious inhabitant of the infographic and last refuge of the desperate. Until now, that is. That’s because us nice folks at BitPoker 247 HQ have trawled through literally miles of footage (if you can call it that on YouTube) to bring you possibly the best top ten list ever compiled. Why? Because it combines the two things we love the most: Poker and movies.
So, without further ado, reach for the choc ices, break out the popcorn and talk loudly on your mobile because here comes our main feature (drum roll, trumpet fanfare, Red Arrows flypast)…
1. TOMMY. NUFF SAID
GOODFELLAS (1990)
Based on the book ‘Wiseguy’ by Nicholas Pileggi, Goodfellas follows Henry Hill (Ray Liotta) and his friends as they make their way through the ruthless yet rewarding world of the American mafia.
Scorcese’s mob classic has to take the number one due to its terrifying portrayal of one of these friends – suited psycho Tommy (Joe Pesci) – dealing with troublesome drinks monkey Spider (Michael Imperioli) in an after-hours poker session.
Not content with humiliating, bullying and belittling the hapless teen, Tommy then puts even more hops in the beers Tommy serves by shooting him the foot. End of? Oh no. When Spider really gets Tommy annoyed by not bringing his whisky fast enough, it really is game over.
Director: Martin Scorsese
Cast includes: Robert de Niro, Ray Liotta, Joe Pesci
2. LUKE SHOWS WHY HE’S A COOL HAND
COOL HAND LUKE (1967)
Paul Newman famously plays a man who steadfastly refuses to conform to life in a rural prison. Hardly surprising with a daily routine featuring brutality, bullying and the odd boiled egg binge. Cool is Luke’s name and Five Card Stud is his game and in this momentous movie moment, wonderfully narrated for the no-poker savvy viewer’s benefit by a wisecracking dealer, you can see just how he earned his perfectly chilled moniker.
Director: Stuart Rosenberg
Cast includes: Paul Newman, George Kennedy, J.D. Cannon
3. REVENGE IS SWEET. LIKE HONEY. THAT BEES MAKE
THE STING (1973)
It’s 1930s Chicago and criminal kingpin Doyle Lonnegan (Robert Shaw) makes a serious error of judgement when he murders the partner of young conman Henry Gondorff (Paul Newman). Plotting a suitable revenge, Henry teams up with fellow grifter Johnny Hooker (Robert Redford) and decides to hit Lonnegan where it really hurts. Planning the con to end all cons, they redefine the term ‘hustle’ as they take him on in a high-stakes game on a long distance train that has entered film folklore. Cue Scott Joplin piano…
Director: George Roy Hill
Cast includes: Paul Newman, Robert Redford, Robert Shaw
4. OREO SCENE TAKES THE BISCUIT
ROUNDERS (1998)
When reformed gambler Mike (Matt Damon) is called on to help friend (Edward Norton) pay off loan sharks, he returns to what he knows best. Plumbing? Taxi driving? No, underground poker of course! With big stakes to be had, and poker in the blood, what could possible go wrong? Introducing Russian gangster Teddy KGB (John Malkovich), with previous for relieving Mike of his $30,000 bankroll whilst also taking $25,000 off his best mate. The scene is set for another classic vengeance/poker with this legendary Oreo ‘tell scene thrown into the heady emotional mix. Crumbs!
Director: John Dahl
Cast includes: Matt Damon, Gretchen Moi, John Malkovich
5. TRAINING DAY, LESSON LEARNT
TRAINING DAY (2001)
If you’re starting a new job, you appreciate being treated like an old hand, right? Not if you’re a Los Angeles narcotics officer dealing with some of the lowest low lives ever to grace the streets of the city of angels. The rogue cop he’s teamed up with soon gets him involved in a poker session against a crew of South Central drug dealers that rapidly descends into a different kind of game. Play nicely, boys.
Director: Antoine Fuqua
Cast includes: Denzel Washington
6. IT’S BEEN EMULSIONAL
LOCK, STOCK AND TWO SMOKING BARRELLS (1998)
When it comes to a poker whitewash, Guy Richie’s 1998 mockney gangster flick has it in buckets. Not only is the pivotal scene that establishes the story based on Three Card Brag, but a previously unthinkable version of the game with a distinct lack of rules and game play as we know it.
Normally rules dictate that a player can only bet the amount they have on the table at the beginning of a hand. During this dubious game, Fast Eddy (Nick Moran) and Hatchet Harry (P.H. Moriarty) take no-limit to the limits, with Eddy losing a cool half million and all on a game of Three Card Brag. The stage is set for a rollicking ride around the smoke as gangsters, loan sharks and debt collectors, plus our protagonists, do their very best to get their hands on the cash.
Director: Guy Ritchie
Cast includes: Jason Flemyng, Dexter Fletcher, Vinnie Jones
7. BOND BUGS OUT
CASINO ROYALE (2006)
Forget David Niven, Peter Sellers, Woody Allen and every other 60s face getting together over the Baccarat table...in the 2006 version of the Fleming classic, the name of the game is Texas Hold' em which gives it every right to take a seat at our poker top ten table.
In Bond’s first mission involves taking down a weapons dealer. But rather than the deed being down in the usual Bond surroundings like an extinct volcano crater or spacecraft hurtling towards earth, this knockout blow needs to be delivered in at the poker game in the titular Casino Royale. After much drama, he eventually dispatches the villain with a straight flush over A’s full of 6’s. Do you expect me to talk? No, I expect you to deal.
Director: Martin Campbell
Cast includes: Daniel Craig, Mads Mikkelsen
8. BACK TO SCHOOL WITH OCEANS ELEVEN
OCEANS ELEVEN (2001)
In this Clooney-centric caper, Danny Ocean and his eleven accomplices plan to rob three Las Vegas casinos simultaneously. As an aside, his partner in crime (literally) Rusty Ryan (Brad Pitt), ends up teaching a gang of fresh-faced teen idols the ins and outs of the game. Trivia: When Rusty is teaching these fresh-faced kids to play poker, all of the actors are actual teen idols who were at the time starring in popular TV Shows including Holly Marie Combs from Charmed, Topher Grace of That '70s Show and Joshua Jackson of Dawson's Creek.
Director: Martin Campbell
Cast includes: George Clooney, Brad Pit, Elliot Gould
9. MEL GIBSON FEELS FLUSH (1994)
MAVERICK (1994)
Bret Maverick (Mel Gibson) not only has one of the coolest names ever given to man, but also a massive money-shaped hole in his pocket. He needs cash for a poker tournament and, in the interests of moving the plot along in this 1994 flick, ends up in various comic mishaps to get the dough; including crossing a charming woman thief. In this classic slice of saloon action, the Mav shows how a royal flush beats a straight flush and a four of a kind in one hand
Director: Richard Donner
Cast includes: Mel Gibson, Alfred Molina, Jodie Foster
10. STONER Vs THE MAN
THE CINCINNATI KID (1965)
They don’t make them like they used to. It’s Depression-era USA and times are getting desperate...so when an up-and-coming blade named Eric "The Kid" Stoner (Steve McQueen) goes up against poker royalty Lancey "The Man" Howard (Edward G. Robinson) in a high-stakes match, sparks are pretty much guaranteed to fly. This climactic final scene shows the way things were settled back in the day, with dialogue as sharp as the suits.
Director: Norman Jewison
Cast includes: Edward G. Robinson, Steve McQueen
Wild cards:
Some of the scenes that didn’t quite make the final cut but are worth a mention:
House of Games (1987)
In this lesser-known 1997 film starring Lindsay Crouse and Joe Mantegna, a psychiatrist helps a compulsive gambler and enters a twilight world of stings, scams, and con men. Perhaps more recognisable to music fans as the source of St Etienne’s ‘You son of a bitch, you been steamrollering over me all night..’ sample heard throughout the track Etienne Gonna Die on their seminal 1991 album Foxbase Alpha.
21 (2008)
"21" is the story of six MIT students who were trained to become experts in card counting and took Vegas casinos for millions in winnings. Just to get things straight. NOT a poker film, though people say it is. It is a BLACKJACK film! So now you know.¬¬¬