Today, I felt like sharing about my personal experience about reflection and meditation. To be honest, I can't recall when was the last time I truly sat and have thought about it. But I do remember that at first, when I tried to think about it how it felt like as if it was something unfamiliar and almost uncomfortable. As we all realize that we live in a world which constantly pulls our attention in various directions.
As for now we all are living in a modern world. So, our days never goes blank without any kind of activity. We always focus ourselves with chats and reels. We have been living like this everyday and this helps us to complete our whole day. But if we stop suddenly then we get back to our reality which we don't wanna face, we often avoid it due to the lack of confrontation.
If you ask me then I would say my personal experience which has helped me to figure out that reflection does not come in a structured way. Like I do not sit alone every day and meditate with perfect focus. I've never done it with plannings, I only do it at late night, when I feel like it, when everything is quiet. Usually at night people sleep so there's no one in my list to distract me, it's just stillness.
I sometime regret moments like this, because my mind begins to replay the old memories, like conversations which I could have done better, wrong decisions that I took, and regrets for letting others interfere in my life, but not only that I also recall the small victories which I didn’t notice in the past. The regret is that, I didn't cherish these great small moments at all.
In the beginning, thinking too much felt overwhelming. It’s easier to distract myself with other things but over time, I realized that constantly running away from reflection leaves a feeling of void inside. Like even if I have forgotten the past and moved forward in life, it still catches up with me because I didn’t confront myself properly.
Well, in the back of my mind I know that I won't be able to do it properly but still I try to meditate as often as I can. And instead thinking of the things that can't be changed anymore, I try convince myself. So, the thing I'm following is exactly not meditation as in the traditional sense.
It’s more like I decided to choose peace and sat alone beside the window without my phone, or sometimes I lie down and try to forgive myself for the past. Without any interruption it slowly works. Also, I don’t force myself at all because if I do that then I'll lose interest. I feel that I should also listen to my own thoughts.
Also, I realized that my thoughts are not always positive. But when I allow myself to sit with them these things slowly lose their weight. Like they do not feel that bad anymore and start becoming something I can understand.
But without reflection everything blends together.
After practicing these habits it helped me to understand my emotions more. Before, I would feel irritaated, get stressed, even my anxiety got worse and only later realize what had actually bothered me. But when I take time to reflect, I can trace those feelings and find the cause. This helps me to gain control over my sense but not over everything, though it changes the way I respond.
The challenges I have faced is consistency. I can’t say I do this every day. Like when I have my phone in my hand, hours will pass without realizing it. To be honest when I do these kind of ignorance, I start to feel like everything is piling up inside me without being sorted. That’s when I get a reminder to pause again.
Anyway, it doesn’t take much effort to have a quite mind and think of everything quietly. So, it's not a bothersome for me. I do hope to continue this habit of mine. I know that out of nowhere in one night I won't become someone who meditates for every day. Because I know myself. But I'll try to be more aware, become a better person and choose silence every once in a while.
The images are created with Gemini and edited with Canva