I woke up to the sound of sobbing at midnight. The light sounds treading into my subconsciousness. Maybe, because I am a light sleeper. My eyes still a little bit groggy with sleep, looked for the source of tears and behold, it was my roommate.
I watched her silently. Her shoulders shaking, and her trying to muffle her tears in her pillow. I wanted to reach out to comfort her but I feared she might be embarrassed if she knew her tears woke me up. So, I stirred from my bed, and walked towards the toilet. Not like I felt the urge to pee, but I knew if I stood up, she would be forced to sniffle and clean her tears and she did exactly that. She tried sniffling quietly but I picked up on it.
“Priscilla, you are crying. Why?” I spoke quietly trying to find her face in the gloomy darkness. She didn't reply, only the dead quiet responding. I searched on my table for the lamp and switched it on. I went over to her bed and laid beside her, wrapping my hands around her. She tried to twist away from me but I held on tight and she finally gave in. The tears came out in a flood and she didn't try to hold back her sob sounds. I let her cry as much as she wanted before asking again.
“What happened, Priscilla? Talk to me. Do we need to hate on somebody?” I asked in an attempt to lighten her mood and it worked a little magic. She sniffled and giggled a little.
“Did I just hear something?” I chuckled while tickling her a little. She turned around and pushed me away, her tears slowly turning into laughter.
“Stop, Livvy.” She laughed while wiping her face. “Sorry, I woke you up. It was the only time I could get to cry.”
“Sorry I intruded in your crying hour. Do you want to talk about what happened?”
“Yes, just give me a moment.” She stepped into the bathroom. I heard running water. Then she stepped out, wiping a face towel on her face. She took a seat by the table. I kept mute, observing the play of emotions on her face. I didn't want to rush her into talking.
“I met someone two months ago. A guy.”
“Ohh, that explains the absences.” I couldn't stop myself from saying that.
“I had to hide it from you.” She raised her shoulders in defense.
“And why’s that?” I asked her.
“Well, you always called me a hopeless romantic. Always seeing a future with any guy that showed me attention. You always said I should be patient. You always said not all guys were possessors of love, though they could be professors of love. I know that even though you indulged me telling you about all the guys I met, you were tired because you knew it might not lead anywhere.”
“I'm sorry if you felt that way. I was just trying to be realistic. But, I was never tired of listening to you. You always make me believe in love. Like there's love hiding somewhere and even if I haven't found it, you have. You were always the evidence that love endures, that love exists. I'm truly sorry for pushing my pessimism on you. Come on, tell me about the guy.”
“His name is Michael. I wanted to hide him from you until I was sure he was here to really stay. I didn't want to introduce him and maybe, months later, you would be the one to console me when he left. Ironically, here we are. Again. Well, I met him during one of my elective lectures. He sat beside me and I don't know. I couldn't help glancing at him. I'm not exaggerating when I say he is a sight for sore eyes. Livvy, he’s handsome. I should have suspected when someone as fine as that was giving me attention.”
I raised at my eyebrow at that remark. “Actually, he should be surprised you decided to grant him audience. You are one heaven of a beauty, Priscy. I still wonder why you don't see that. And I'm not saying this as a form of consolation.”
“You flatter me, Livvy.” She smiled. “So, our professor grouped us in tens for an assignment and that's how we got to talking. He took the reins and guided everyone on the assignment topic. He was so knowledgeable and he showed me special attentions. He helped us. We ended up being the group with the best result. All of us decided to meet for drinks to celebrate. And that night, he walked me home. We talked about a lot of things. He always had an answer for everything.”
“Beware those who seem to have the answers to everything.” I murmured.
“It was that night he told me he liked me. He didn't ask me out then, he just told me he liked me and wanted us to meet up more. And well, I already liked him. So, that was where it truly began. We met up constantly and we learnt a lot about each other. Like you, he wasn't enthusiastic about love. He told me about how his girlfriend had broken up with him because she couldn't deal anymore. He said she had found someone else. It had broken him because they had been together for years. And that made him think that at some point, love just stopped to exist. And I, the very optimistic one told him that if there was still love in his heart, it meant it still existed. And he asked me out just then.”
“It was bliss. He knew how to treat a woman, Livvy. He was gentle and patient and he never raised his voice at me. He always indulged my whims, you know? I thought that maybe at last, I had finally met the one. I was going to introduce him to you at the end of the month but all of a sudden, he started growing distant. Always picking calls, hiding his texts, leaving early from our dates, always taking hours to reply my texts or call me back. At some point, I didn't see him for a week and he didn't leave a text to tell me why he wasn't around and so I decided to go to his house, so we could talk it out. Maybe, I was the problem and he didn't know how to confront me about it. So, Livvy, tell me why I knocked on his door, and it was a girl wearing his shirt and probably nothing underneath. It was insane. The girl is this kind of beauty that draws stares, you know? The kind that never leaves your mind even if she just passed you on the street.
“*Who are you?” She asked me while folding her arms across her chest.
“Umm, I'm Priscy. I need to talk to Michael.”
“Michael's in the shower. You can come in though.” She said, stepping aside.
“Livvy, I should have run then. I shouldn't have stayed.” Priscy turned to me, tears leaking down her cheeks. “But foolish me, I stepped in. I was desperate to get answers and I got them. The most painful ones at that.”
“Michael, you have someone here to see you.” She hollered. “You can have your seat.” She said to me. I sat down, squeezing my hands, trying not to feel numb. After some of the longest minutes of my life, Michael came out of the shower. He was just in a sweatpants and a towel across his neck. He was toweling his hair and my heart clenched. When he saw me, I thought he would be surprised, but he wasn't. He sat down on the chair across mine, wrapping his arms across the strange girl I waited for him to start speaking.
“I’m sorry, Priscy. I'm sorry you had to find out this way. I waa thinking of the best way to tell you. I'm sure I told you about my ex, Abigail. I was actually planning to get back with her. She's my all, Priscy.”
“So, why did you ask me out? What was all of it for?” I almost screamed.
“Because you were my plan B. You were my second plan. If all else failed and i couldn't win her back, I was meant to fall back on you. It wasn't supposed to be this way. You are adorable and one of the prettiest girls I have ever known. You brought me peace and that was why I asked you out. I didn't know I would win Abigail back.”
“And so you chose her? The girl who left you for someone else? The one who left you heartbroken?” I stood up, gripping my bag tightly.
“Priscy, you taught me about love. You told me love forgives and so I had to forgive her. I am sorry, Priscy. I am truly sorry for doing this.”
“Okay, then. I hope you have the best life with her. And I hope she still chooses you the way you did her.” And i stomped out of the room.*
“Do you know the worst part of it, Livvy? She was just sitting there watching me, with this knowledge in her eyes that it had always been her. That he would have always chosen her. I am just thankful, I didn't cry there. I have been unable to cry until then.”
I went to her side and pulled her close. Patting her hair and not saying a word. Not saying, “I told you so” or something of that sort. We just sat in silence. She sobbing, me patting. In the deepest recesses of my heart, I hoped she would never give up on love the way I did. I hoped she would meet the right person that would never make her keep guessing. I hoped what happened wouldn't kill her optimistic spirit.