I always say this, that if there is any person I have seen in this life who embodies grace, patience, and maturity, it is my mother, I mean she is not loud, she is not forceful, but the way she handles life sometimes just leaves me in awe, and I don’t even say this because she is my mom ,I say it because I have seen her act in ways that most people would not even consider.
Growing up, I didn’t fully understand her strength to me, she was just my mother, the woman who cooked, prayed, and told me to wash plates when I was pretending to be asleep, but as I got older and life started showing me small pepper, I began to see clearly that this woman is truly a hero in her own quiet way.
There was a time , I remember this clearly , my mom and two of her sisters were not on talking terms, you know how family matter can be, very complicated, one small issue can turn into something big when pride enters, their disagreement lasted months, everybody chose sides and somehow, majority decided that my mom was the bad person, Just like that, no one wanted to hear her side, no one even cared to ask what really happened.
I remember asking her one day,
Mommy o, are you not tired of this family wahala at all? Ahn Ahn! Why are they acting like you did something terrible?
She just smiled and said,
Leave it, time will tell the truth, what matters is peace, not who is right.
Me, I didn’t understand, like, how can you be trying to make peace and they are acting like you are the enemy? If it was me, by now I would have blocked everybody, deleted numbers, and moved on with my life, but not my mother.
Instead of anger, she chose love, instead of silence, she chose reaching out.
There was one of her sisters who recently gave birth around that time, everyone expected my mom to ignore it because they are not talking, but the morning she heard, she stood up, tied her wrapper and said.
I am going to greet her, even I was shocked, ...... Mommy, but she just looked at me and said gently, family is still family, If I don’t go now, what am I teaching you?
That thing touched me, deeply, When she arrived at her sister’s house, the atmosphere was thick, nobody was really smiling, but my mom greeted everyone warmly like nothing had happened.
How is the baby? she asked softly.
Her sister stared at her for some seconds, and then her eyes softened, she is inside, do you want to carry her?
My mom smiled, Of course , that small moment shifted everything, that day walls came down, hearts softened, before long, they were talking again, not perfectly, but genuinely.
That day I realized something, being the bigger person is not weakness , it is strength.
My mom always tells me, If you carry bitterness, it is you that will feel heavy, the person you are angry at may be sleeping peacefully, let things go, so your heart can be free.
She has this way of putting others before herself, not in a way that is self destructive, but in a way that shows she values peace, she values connection, she does values family.
One evening, I asked her, Mommy, how do you even do it? like .... how do you keep giving people the grace , even when they hurt you so much?
She just looked at me with that her ever calm face and she said, .... You know that If I start behaving like them, then what makes me different? , see this life is not always about who wins the argument in any way, see sometimes, it is the one who walks away with peace is the real winner.
I won’t lie o, that thing stuck with me.
Because life is teaching me now that sometimes, choosing peace is harder than choosing anger, sometimes, apologizing even when you are not wrong is harder than arguing, sometimes, showing love when people expect you to retaliate is the strongest thing you can do.
So you see my mom is my hero not because she wears any cape, or because maybe she stands on stages, or because the world celebrates her,nah..... my mom is my hero because she knows how to love even in the face of being hurt, she knows how to choose her peace even when pride seems like an easier route , she knows how to bend so well so that her relationships don’t break.
She has taught me that strength is very quiet sometimes, and that strength is in the soft voice that says, it is okay, let’s just move on.
See strength? It is in the hands that reach out first, strength is in forgiving again and again, not because you are weak, but because you choose peace, so today, when I think of the word HERI, I don’t think of Superman, or celebrities, or any movie characters.
I just think of my mother tying her wrapper, she picking up her bag,and going to a house where she was not even welcomed, just so she could to show love.
And me I pray that one day, I can be even half the woman she is.
Image Is Mine
