They say that it is the complexes that make us full-fledged people. Yes, some manage to move up the career ladder and become successful everywhere it is driven by their complexes. But these are few and usually these are people with severe character. In order for success to be in everything, you need to get rid of the inferiority complex
Where it comes from
Vanya was beaten all the time in his yard. Not because he is weak or small, but because he believed that unable to deal with their peers...They seemed stronger than van…
Attractive and charming Galya recently divorced. She all life considered herself ugly and perceived herself as the most ugly in a class and in group, worse dressed and ridiculous. Who would like this? And, married the first who showed interest in her boyfriend. Divorce only " fed " inferiority complex of a beautiful woman…
Ala lost weight since she was 13. Due to the presence of forms, she was teased in the classroom, in addition, constantly laughed thin and thin mom and sister. However, judging by the photos, even in that era, Ala was not a pussy...to anorexia it did not come, but the girl hides a sexy figure under the bags of potatoes ("I'll lose weight-I'll buy a mini and in General a mountain of fashionable clothes...") and with a weight of 45 kg considered herself full…
Before you get rid of inferiority complexes, you need to understand where it comes from. It's not just the parents who criticize the child for any childish mistakes, sometimes forgetting that he is small. There are parents and more terrible mistakes. For example, to compare the child with the neighbor's Misha or Masha: here, they are on the same five learn, beautiful, cross-embroider and sing in the choir and do not say that they are tired, and you...That's how the first stone is laid in the Foundation of the complexes. What to do? forgive the mistakes of parents and realize that you have grown up and have long been not a loser, but a person with higher education and interesting work. And not to make such a mistake in the education of their children.
Teachers can be guilty. But if in the second grade an evil teacher called you a fool because you can't solve the equation, that's no reason to consider yourself a fool all your life. Just a teacher is not the best person. You are not 7 years old to bow to adults and consider the opinion of any of them the ultimate truth.
Another source of the same age and their children's cruelty. Here is really a lot of drama. But driving your car around the city, going to an interesting event or English lesson for the highest level, look closely to the yard teenagers: are you afraid of them, whether they are interesting...is about. Those boys who beat you up, no. And those girls who teased their ugly classmate for being unfashionable and unkempt, or for being overweight, perhaps, turned into immense wives…
The rest we do ourselves. Compare yourself with someone and come up with the ideal, which is to reach the impossible, appreciate what you have. Hence the complexes, apathy and dissatisfaction with themselves. But if a person does not appreciate himself, it is very noticeable.
What not to do
It's simple. We do not create ideals and do not relate ourselves to them. Also, don't devalue everything you have and compare yourself to the rich and successful: perhaps their success is only due to the wealth of their parents. And it is not necessary mentally to talk about yourself a stern voice mom: may you have an opinion about myself, not my mother's.
Determine the cause of your complex
To deal with his misfortune, remember the most traumatic situations from childhood and adolescence and ask yourself these questions:
What thoughts and emotions did you feel at that moment?
What thoughts were after this incident? Was there an internal dialogue?
How strong were your emotions?
How much did you worry after that?
And now look at it all with the eyes of an adult and realize that the people who said it were wrong.
- Reassess all your negative beliefs about yourself. Write them down in a column on paper. And now, on the contrary, we write a positive statement-a refutation.
For example:
I'm chunky, full-bodied and big-boned – I have the figure of "hourglass", smooth legs and thighs.
I'm a boring conversationalist – I can be interesting, I have a lot to talk about, but I need more communication and less silence;
Now cut the sheet and burn the side where the negative statements are recorded.
We change the negative dialogue about ourselves to positive. Catch yourself on all the negative thoughts about yourself. Instantly turn off all "I'm badly dressed"," I'm boring", or"I'm a coward." Immediately for a positive change;
We recognize our weaknesses. It is necessary to perceive itself as it is. In addition, it will help you to perceive criticism correctly. Writing down weaknesses on paper, next write of the virtues, while virtues must be not less than the disadvantages. Do not complex about weaknesses: they are there and those whom you consider the standard. And as soon as you think about your weaknesses, immediately think about the best that you have.
Don't take criticism too hard. An adult understands perfectly well that this is just a subjective opinion. In addition, the causes of your complexes – not in the events or other people, and your reaction to them.
So, if friends once again called you an egoist, step away from the situation and remember how many times you helped friends. Perhaps they take your help for granted. In addition, other egoists are often called egoists.
Communicate only with positive and cheerful people. In General, practice communication with a variety of people – so you will understand that no one is sown over you and at every step does not criticize.
Work on yourself constantly.This development is physical, intellectual and spiritual. Actually, this way you level your shortcomings and fix what is real. First, with the mastery of new skills will increase self-esteem, and secondly, you can become a more interesting interlocutor, and more beautiful and harmonious person.
Get an example to follow. No, idealic that you are jealous and with whom you compare yourself, and who you really admire: someone from acquaintances or friends, the hero of the movie, celebrity, book character...His strengths, set himself and play his role, even if at first it will be awkward and unnatural. Over time, his strengths will "grow" to you.
Keep your diary. In it you should record only progress. At least ten minutes in the evening devote to him. Over time, you will realize how successful.
You can set goals to overcome your weaknesses.
Learn to enjoy what you have. After all, you have also achieved something. By the way, try to post a photo of your achievements and the results of your work in social networks.: here you will see how much will delight, especially if you are not expected. Moreover, you will understand that you can do a lot and have achieved much more than a beautiful girl ( on whose page in the social network you often visit) who skates through the resorts at the expense of a rich lover and at his own expense bought a new fur coat. Who knows, maybe someone is comparing themselves to you and comparing in your direction.
