by 
View my bio on Blurt.media: https://blurt.media/c/manuel78
The night exhales ,
I feel it pulling me under ,
Every silence knows my name .
Every time I lean your way I lose a little ground ,
Every time I trust that look another mark is found ,
You say you’ll calm the storm inside my veins tonight ,
But you disappear before the morning light ,
I keep the door unlocked ,
I keep my guard asleep ,
I tell myself this cut won’t end up deep .
This city never learns how to let me breathe ,
Every memory weighs like gravity ,
I’m falling slow , I know the pattern well ,
Still I don’t break the spell .
I’m back where I swore I’d never stay ,
Counting hours I can’t erase ,
Forty-eight pulls me in again ,
I wear my grin like armor then ,
The lights are low , my hands still shake ,
I hate the truth but choose the fake ,
I bend , I don’t collapse ,
I smile through the cracks .
You left a shadow where my heartbeat was ,
Taught me how to bleed and still call it love ,
They say I’m stronger than I’ve ever been ,
But strength still feels like holding in ,
I swear I’m done , then hear your tone ,
And suddenly I’m not alone .
I’m back where I swore I’d never stay ,
Counting hours I can’t erase ,
Forty-eight pulls me in again ,
I wear my grin like armor then ,
I curse the night yet hold my place ,
I let the pain just pass my face ,
I bend , I don’t collapse ,
I smile through the cracks .
If loving you’s the cost of sleep ,
I pay it slow , I pay it deep ,
I trace the scars you’ll never see ,
Still you’re the ache that keeps me me .
Forty-eight , I’m breathing in ,
Forty-eight , I fall again ,
Same road , different skin ,
Still standing when the night gives in ,
Again .
Forty-Eight Hours of Gravity
The night exhales .
It always does just before midnight , as if the city itself is tired of pretending . I feel it pulling me under , the same way it has before , the same way it always will . Every silence knows my name . In the quiet between traffic lights and distant sirens , I hear it whispered back to me .
Every time I lean your way I lose a little ground . I tell myself it is only a step , only a moment , but the ground keeps slipping . Every time I trust that look another mark is found . The marks are not visible to anyone else . They do not bruise the skin . They settle somewhere deeper , somewhere that keeps a careful record .
You say you’ll calm the storm inside my veins tonight . Your voice carries warmth , certainty , promise . But you disappear before the morning light . And morning always comes , sharp and honest , slicing through whatever illusion the dark helped build .
I keep the door unlocked . I keep my guard asleep . I tell myself this cut won’t end up deep . I rehearse these lines as if repetition might make them true .
This city never learns how to let me breathe . The air feels thick with old conversations , unfinished endings , almost apologies . Every memory weighs like gravity . It presses against my ribs when I try to move forward . I’m falling slow , I know the pattern well . Still I don’t break the spell .
There is comfort in repetition , even when it hurts .
I’m back where I swore I’d never stay . The same street . The same late hour . The same message lighting up my phone . Counting hours I can’t erase . Forty-eight pulls me in again . Two days . Two nights . That is all it ever takes to forget why I left .
I wear my grin like armor then . The lights are low , my hands still shake . I hate the truth but choose the fake . It is easier to smile than to explain why I am still here . I bend , I don’t collapse . I smile through the cracks .
You left a shadow where my heartbeat was . I did not notice at first . It felt like intensity , like passion , like something rare . You taught me how to bleed and still call it love . The lesson was subtle . Pain became proof of depth .
They say I’m stronger than I’ve ever been . Friends say it gently , with careful optimism . But strength still feels like holding in . It feels like swallowing words before they turn into arguments . It feels like steady breathing when I want to shout .
I swear I’m done , then hear your tone . And suddenly I’m not alone . Loneliness has a way of rewriting conviction .
I’m back where I swore I’d never stay . Counting hours I can’t erase . Forty-eight pulls me in again . The pattern repeats so smoothly it almost feels designed . I wear my grin like armor then . I curse the night yet hold my place . I let the pain just pass my face . I bend , I don’t collapse . I smile through the cracks .
There are moments , though , when the quiet stretches longer than usual . When the night exhales and I do not immediately inhale it back .
If loving you’s the cost of sleep , I pay it slow , I pay it deep . I lie awake replaying conversations , measuring tone , examining pauses . I trace the scars you’ll never see . They are mapped across memory rather than skin . Still you’re the ache that keeps me me . That is the part I struggle to understand .
Who am I without this gravity ? Without the pull that drags me back every forty-eight hours ?
Forty-eight , I’m breathing in . The cycle begins with a message , a call , a simple hello . Forty-eight , I fall again . Not dramatically . Not loudly . Just enough to return to the same coordinates . Same road , different skin . Each time I tell myself I am changed , wiser , more guarded .
Still standing when the night gives in . That is the small victory I claim . I am still here . Still upright . Even if the cracks show in certain light .
Again .
But something shifts the next time the night exhales . I feel it pulling me under , yet I do not move . Every silence knows my name , but this time it does not accuse me . It waits .
I look at the door I have kept unlocked for so long . I see the habit more clearly than the hope . I recognize the gravity for what it is . Not destiny . Not fate . Just familiarity .
This city never learns how to let me breathe , but I can learn how to step outside it . Every memory weighs like gravity , yet gravity only works if I keep standing beneath it .
I am back where I swore I’d never stay , but for the first time , I understand I do not have to remain . Counting hours I can’t erase becomes counting choices I can still make .
Forty-eight pulls me in again , but I feel the pull and do not answer . I wear my grin like armor then , not to hide , but to protect the small strength forming inside . The lights are low , my hands still shake . I hate the truth but choose the fake , I once said . Now I choose the truth , even if it shakes me more .
I bend , I don’t collapse . I smile through the cracks . The cracks let light in .
If loving you’s the cost of sleep , I no longer agree to pay it . I trace the scars you’ll never see and realize they are healing . Still you’re the ache that keeps me me , but aches fade when they are not reopened .
Forty-eight , I’m breathing in . This time the breath is steady . Forty-eight , I fall again . But I fall forward , not back . Same road , different skin . Different choice .
Still standing when the night gives in .
And when the night exhales , I do not feel it pulling me under anymore . I feel it passing through , like wind through an open window . Every silence knows my name , but now it sounds less like surrender and more like recognition .
Again becomes something else .
Again becomes beginning .
