You Win Some, You Lose Some... (Inkwell Prompt #9)

I looked down at the test in my hand in complete disbelief. Two pink lines still remained there. It was official! After a year of trying to conceive, we were finally pregnant again!

(A happy day for me back in August)

I opened the bathroom door to find my husband standing right outside, anxiously anticipating the news I was withholding from him. "Well?" he began to inquire. My face must have given the answer away, for he burst into a smile and lifted me up off the floor, twirling me around like a top. "We're finally pregnant?!"

With shaking hands, I revealed the positive pregnancy test that I was holding, before eventually proceeding to hold him. Our greatest wish had been answered; we would be welcoming another bundle of joy in April...

(⚠️ I would like to take a moment to add a disclaimer now. There is nothing graphic or too traumatic, but if you are in a sensitive spot right now, I would ask you to please proceed with caution ⚠️)

Yet, by the time November arrived, we were greeted with unexpected surprises. "You will have to go in for an emergency ultrasound," my doctor advised us, and so we went. I sat and waited for answers in dreadful agony, while the technician decided to play dumb: "I'm sorry, I can't tell you anything. I'm not a doctor!" We desperately tried holding onto hope; it was the only thing we had left...

But, my doctor still called with the inevitable news... They could no longer find a heartbeat... My brain couldn't fathom such a possibility. Had I done something wrong? Was it the medication I had been prescribed? Were there people wishing ill upon us? Was God displeased with us? I didn't receive an answer, and the hardest thing to accept is that I never will...

It is a few weeks later, and my husband and our 3-year-old daughter stumble onto a cemetery. Thinking there will not be a better opportunity to discuss these things, my husband finally explains what happened to the baby, to her little brother...

(Our daughter exploring the cemetery)

Our 3-year-old, of her own volition, began to explain how things worked to her father... "We don't need to be sad, Daddy. The baby is watching over us -- I can hear him! It's incredible..."

After that, our daughter asked her father to pray with her. They prayed, that God may take care of our little baby. She may not have been able to welcome her baby brother home, but our daughter has welcomed God into her life, and I do not think there can be a greater blessing.

Thank you for reading, and may the magic of the season be upon us all! 🙏🎄