My desk is a mess!
I can't honestly remember a time when my desk was not mess... whether it was this desk, or any other desk, at any other time in my life.
Somehow, I manage to find my way around the mess... perhaps a sort of testament to the fact that even though there is clutter, I actually have a pretty good idea about where to find things I need.
One of the regular visitors to our birdfeeder....
Almost a Hoarder?
Some people get a little scared by the mess around me; sometimes I have even been... well, it has been suggested to me that I might be a borderline "Hoarder."
I don't really see it, neither from the psychoanalysis perspective, nor in the functional sense. For one thing, I have little attachment to the clutter on my desk, and few things would make me happier than to have a simpler life.
I said as much to my therapist, a couple of sessions back... as a result of which she wanted to know what was keeping me from a "simpler life."
"Money, mostly," I replied... "or rather, the LACK of money."
Another back yard visitor...
The Truth Beneath the Truth
Of course, the unpleasant truth behind most of the clutter is that I have to feel compelled to pursue these multiple projects I am involved in because none of them are capable — on their own — of generating me a sustainable living.
And so, I'm a bit like my Jamaican friend Jimmy: "I got six job, mon...!"
My (therapeutic) "homework" these days is reading a book about being an "Underearner."
Yes, that's a "thing."
It describes someone who pretty much works their ass off most of the time — often in some form of self-employment — and spends their entire life living at the edge of poverty, in spite of a 90-hour work week.
Daisy in the rain...
Underearners tend to do far too much pro-bono work; tend to always have the lowest bids as contract workers... and if someone asks about the price of a product or service, they tend to immediately make their prospect "a better deal" in order to get the job.
They also (talking primarily about North America, here) tend to gravitate towards heavily competitive fields that traditionally are low paying and have a tendency to get outsourced or replaced by automation.
I relate deeply to that one...as a technical writer I used to make good money, but now most of my competition lives in India or the Philippines and has English degrees from US universities.
Aside from that: Being an artist: Underpaid. Being a writer: Underpaid Selling jewelry supplies: "Underpaid," especially since imports from China are so low priced.
Sparrow, enjoying our bird "restaurant!"
The "Time" Issue...
This isn't meant to be a bellyaching post, though...
The thing about the "time," is that sometimes I end up stuck on the hamster wheel, because in order to do more of "that" in hopes of making a few more dollars, it takes away time from "this," which will lose me a few dollars.
That's a common set of choice points, around here.
And my desk is so messy because there are the trappings of running four microbusinesses there, rather than just one, like most sane people would have.
And, in spite of knowing where everything is, the daily routine feels mostly like trying to bail out the Titanic with a teacup...
Which I now need to get back to!
Thanks for reading, and happy 10/10!
(Another #creativecoin creative non-fiction post)
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Created at 191010 21:58 PDT
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